Stream of Consciousness Sunday: My Husband's Guest Post

I told my hubby about Sunday Stream of Consciousness and he thought that it was a pretty nifty thing to be a part of. So I asked him to be my guest blogger for this week's exercise and he jumped at the opportunity. Let the record show, I did not pay my hubby, in any way shape or form (in the bedroom or out), for what he decided to write about. :) Enjoy!

My wife asked me to be a guest on her blog. At first I didn't really know what to write about. She told me to just say anything that comes to mind.

I would have to say I'm very proud of my wife. She's an excellent companion, mother, and a very thoughtful person altogether. Some may seriously regret being married. I can honestly say I do not regret it. I do develop the occasional twitch when she gets on my nerves. Ok, perhaps I'm embelishing a tad. The truth is we've had our share of troubled times.

I guess you could say I'm the type of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. Yes, I'm quite emotional at times. She says she loves that about me. But just because I am emotional, doesn't necessarily mean I cry. But it doesn't mean I'm not stressed out. More recently I've been going through a legal battle with my former boss Isaac. He is an unscrupulous, self centered... ooppps, I promised I wouldn't lash out here. So why did I bring this up? Great question! The good that this has brought out is I am remembering to pray over my family more often. I'm remembering the basics of what any good christian home should include. It sounds simple but my wife has been a rock through this. She has been standing by me and praying with me.

My wife is my other half and I'm so blessed to have such a woman be my partner through the good times and the bad. I just hope there are more good times than bad ones. With the help of God I think its safe to say that we'll be ok.

Yes ladies, I am grinning ear to ear...

This was my [husband's] 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

■ Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
■ Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
■ Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
■ Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
■ Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts

FIt Mama Club - week 4

Sadly it was a big Fit Mama Club fail last week. I totally got caught up in emotional eating and went to town. I actually gained the 2 lbs I lost the first week. :( BUT I can't give up. I know I won't be at the weight I would like to be by the end of the summer, but my new goal is to lose 25 lbs by December 31st to start the new year off as a lean mean healthy machine! Here's my update:

After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 0
Total Weight Loss: back to 0
Last Week's High: If I count today as part of last week - me, my hubby, my little one, and my mom went to the beach. It was the first time that my little monster felt sand between his little toes and salt water in his curly baby 'fro. It was an amazing feeling to watch it all.
Last Week's Low: My major Fit Mama crash and burn ::sigh::
Plan For This Week: I will work on eating only when I'm hungry and stop eating when I'm full. I will also complete the Fit Mama Challenge!

Fit Mama Challenge: Only drink 8 oz of juice per day (4 oz in the morning, 4 oz in the evening), and the rest of the time, drink good ol' H20! (Yes, one cup of coffee per day is an acception.)

Baby #2 Bucket List

So I was reading a fellow super mama's blog, and she had a post that was pretty cool. She created a bucket list - you know, the things you need to do before you ____ . This particular bucket list was created listing the things she needs to do before she and her husband have a second baby. When I read that, I was like YUP! I need to create one of those too! You all read here that I have been having the baby itch as of late, but I've been trying to remind myself that it's not the right time just yet. So this was a perfect way to share it visually.

MUST HAPPEN BEFORE BABY #2
-Get my counseling license and find an office job (no more field work!)
-Save $3,000 for a baby fund
-Lose 25 lbs to get down to the weight I was when I got married
-Hubby needs to get his Associates Degree

WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN BEFORE BABY #2
-Lose 35 lbs (that would be a dream!)
-Have $5,000 in savings (in addition to the baby fund)
-Save up for our first house

FUN STUFF BEFORE BABY #2
-Go on another cruise(Norwegian Cruiseline is the bomb!)
-Go on vacation to St. Maarten and/or Antigua
-Hubby and I going away for a few days for a little one-on-one romance (Poconos anyone?)
-Hubby and I getting matching tattoos (on our ring fingers <3)
-Get myself a cute little nose ring (cheeyahhh babyy!!)

So that's the plan! What do you guys think? Any more suggestions??

Waiting for Change

Yesterday during a therapy session, I sat with a family who were fighting like cats and dogs. When I was able to get their attention, I pointed out that it seemed like they were all waiting for the next person to change before they decided to treat that person kindly. I suggested that they treat each other kindly first - which would lead to the changes in behavior their seeking. That didn't resonate too deeply with them but it was a Eureka moment for me.

We all have people in our lives- friends, spouses, siblings etc that tick us off. It's almost as if they know us so well for the sole purpose of getting under our skin. And we hold them to a higher level of accountability because we expect more from them. But what I've come to realize over time is that we only have the power to change our own behaviors, and waiting for the other party to change when they have no motivation to do so will have you waiting 'til kingdom come.

I once read in "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian that we should treat our spouse as the person we want them to be, not the person they are at this point in time. The idea is that this will give them the motivation, confidence, and feeling of respect they need to grow into that person. And as we treat them kindly, we pray. We. Pray.

Pray for the ability to trust God in that situation. Pray for the removal of our unforgiveness. Pray for the other party to accept our kindness and open their heart. Pray for the relationship to be healed. And through this kindness, through this respect, through this hope, comes the rebirth of a relationship better than before.

So let us not wait for someone else to change. Let us become an active role in the change process by being kind, forgiving, and supportive. Before you know it, the other person will see the err of their ways and thank you for not giving up on them.

Fit Mama Club - Week 3

Okay so last week was a Fit Mama Club fail *insert funny cartoon noise - womp womp womp* Halfway through the week, I let my emotional eating get the best of me, and struggled the rest of the way through. But this week is a new start. A new chance at making a difference in my health and weight. So let's go!

After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 0
Total Weight Loss: 2.4
Last Week's High: LiL Monster had a wonderful week at daycare! He's finally starting to get used to it, and actually has fun! He still cries when we drop him off, but from what I hear, he stops as soon as we leave, and he starts playing with the other kids.
Last Week's Low: Still didn't work out last week. What is my malfunction!!
Plan For This Week: I will stick to 26 WW points each day, drink 4 glasses of water per day, work out twice per week, and complete the Fit Mama Challenge!

Fit Mama Challenge: No eating out for one full week. Not only will that help as far as our health goes, but it'll also help our pockets! So c'mon ladies! Time to go grocery shopping! ;)

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: The Baby Itch Attacks

Yup. I've got it. I've got the baby itch. At first I thought it would pass, but it's been a few weeks and I still feel the need for another little one! I'm a total nut because at this time, lil monster is a handful as it is. Plus work is tough, and i'm still working towards my counseling license. And we're still trying to rebuild our finances. We don't own a home, we rent. So it's just not the right time. But i can't help but miss the "new baby" smell. The newborn cry. The breastfeeding (yes ladies, I kinda miss that too). I miss having a little one that I can cuddle for an hour straight and baby being in total bliss over it. Lil monster is just growing up too fast. And I think that is the major reason why I'm feeling this way. He's such a little person now. With his own personality, his own decisions... ::sigh:: and he'll keep growing and growing from here! Next thing you know he'll be saying "C'mon ma, you're like sooo embarrassing!" arghh... I am not in a rush for that to happen. I just have to take a step back and make sure that I'm feeling these things for the right reason. I've mentioned my thoughts here and there to the hubby, but he hasn't really taken me seriously. I mean, he knows that it's definitely not the right time for us. But I can't help but dream of our baby #2 (maybe a little girl, woop!). I can't wait to see how lil monster treats his lil sibling. It's funny cuz I was helping in the Nursery at church today, and holding the little infants made this mama itch for a baby even more! And you know what MY little ankle biter did? He tried to push the 6 month old outta my hands, and even went as far as to pull her little hair! I was mortified. Very. In any event, it was nice to be around the little babies, even if only for 2 hours. It definitely confirmed that having more children is in my heart, but now if my finances and busy schedule could hop on board - that would be awesome!

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

■ Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
■ Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
■ Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
■ Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
■ Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts

Ignore the Label Please!

Sometimes I worry that I'm labeling my little one way too soon. He's only 16 months old and my husband and I, as well as a few family and friends have already labeled him as The Strong-Willed Child. Of course there is some tiny truth to that assumption. He does need to be told numerous times NO (as many toddlers do) and sometimes will swat the person who is keeping him from his prize. Yes, afterwards, he'll slowly sneak back to the scene in question and try to repeat the offense when no one's looking. Let's not forget the occasional (well a little bit more than that) temper tantrum where if he can't have that special something, he'll flop on the floor and roll around screaming with arms flailing. But how much of his future personality are we shaping by passing his normal-ish toddler behavior as a hard and fast personality trait?

See, I'm a Family Therapist and study people for a living. And all too often, I see members of families pigeon-holed into a role such as the: Smart One, Trouble Maker, Sensitive One, Bully, Scapegoat.. the list goes on. I've often wondered, how much of the label comes from true character traits or from kids living up to what they've been hearing all of their lives?

When counseling youth displaying delinquent behaviors, almost always they tell me, "I'm the black sheep! I'm the problem!" And likewise from the parents, "They've been like this since birth! Causing us all grief!" Of course I then suggest that the kid hearing this for years may have shaped their behavior - or at least their motivation to make more positive decisions. Needless to say it takes a few sessions before the parents are willing to chew on that tasty little morsel.

So that brings me to my questions to you, dear readers. Do you feel you were labeled as a child? How much of that do you think may have affected your life decisions? How can we as parents choose our words wisely to give our children a fair shot at growing into their own true selves?

Just Not the Natural Order of Things

Sometimes I wonder how things would be if I were still a stay at home mom. I stayed at home for the first 8 months of my son's life and towards the latter part of those months, I felt like I had lost my identity. Between nightly wakings, dirty diapers, nursing, cooking, cleaning... I felt like a robot. I believed so deeply that if I only found a job, then I would feel like myself again. Many of us mamas know how tough motherhood is and as much as we love our little ankle biters, they change our lives DRAMATICALLY. And after awhile, all you want is to get back to some level of normalcy. So I prayed and prayed and prayed...

And God answered my prayer. So I started working, and at first I felt revived. This is how its meant to be, I thought. Now I'm me again. Now I'm whole. Except, no - I was actually leaving a part of me at daycare. Not whole at all. And like that, discontentment reared its ugly little head again. All of a sudden I felt like I was missing out on all the wonderful moments in my little guy's life. Working felt like it was sucking the life out of me. Robbing time away from my husband and son. I work evenings (cuz that's all I can find right now) so my husband gets to put lil monster to bed all week. He gets all the goodnight hugs and kisses. The most I get is the 11pm diaper change where I quietly steal kisses as he snores and wiggles his little toes.

And that's where I'm at right now. I prayed so hard for a job, and now that I have what I wanted, I feel just as lost as I did before I began. It just doesn't feel like the natural order of things. But what really does?? If I could have a happy medium, part time work and part time home, would I then be content? Or would I just move on to the next thing that's not "fair" about my life?

So many questions, and not enough answers. I can go around in circles thinking about my situation. But I have to leave it in God's hands. My parting thought is from Scripture, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:33-34). Easier said than done, but I'll always keep trying.

Fit Mama Club - Week 2

How are you all doing! Here's my Fit Mama Club update for Week 1! After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 2.4
Total Weight Loss: 2.4
Last Week's High: I took three days off - very much needed!
Last Week's Low: One of the families that I counsel is not doing well and I won't be able to close the case next week as planned... and I didn't work out last week. AT. ALL.
Plan For This Week: I will stick to 26 WW points each day, drink 4 glasses of water per day, work out twice per week, and fulfill the Fit Mama Club Challenge!

THIS WEEK'S FIT MAMA CLUB CHALLENGE

How many of you eat the correct amount of vegetables per day? According to the USDA Food Pyramid, we're supposed to be having 3-5 servings per day. To be honest, I'm lucky if I get 5 servings a week, let alone per day. That's why I felt it was important for this week's challenge to be a Veggie Challenge!



One serving of Vegetables is equal to:

* 1 cup of raw leafy green vegetables
* 1/2 cup other vegetables (cooked or raw) or
* 3/4 cup vegetable juice

And what are the benefits of following these guidelines?

1) Substituting fruits and vegetables for higher-calorie foods can be a great part of a weight loss strategy. They are low in calories, high in volume and high in critically important nutrients. They fill you up, without loading you up with fat and calories. And when your stomach is filled up with high volume, low calorie food, there is less room for other bad stuff.

2) Plant-based foods help to control food cravings and overeating.

3) Compared with people who consume a diet with only small amounts of fruits and vegetables, those who eat more generous amounts as part of a healthful diet are likely to have reduced risk of chronic diseases, including stroke and perhaps other cardiovascular diseases, and certain cancers.

4) Fruits and vegetables are a natural source of energy and give the body many nutrients you need to keep going. They are a great "on-the-go" snack.

5) When your body is getting what it needs, you are going to feel better physically and emotionally. The absolute best vegetables to help speed up weight loss are green vegetables- Collard Greens, Spinach, Swiss Chard, Brussels Sprouts, Broccoli, Cabbage.

CHALLENGE: Eat at least 3 servings of vegetables per day for 7 days.

Who's with me?? All you have to do is share your progress each day on twitter with the hashtag #fitmamaclub, and post every Sunday morning with last week's successes and this week's goals. Comment or tweet for more info!

Water Challenge - Hit and Miss

Overall, the Water Challenge went pretty well! I did have a few set backs though:

1) One evening, the hubs decided to cook dinner and brought out a plate and drink for me.. the drink was fruit punch. And without batting an eyelash, I drank it all down - THEN was shocked and realized, holy moly I'm on a water challenge! Thankfully it was only a 1/2 a cup, and I drank two cups of water right after.

2) My best friends took me out to an Indian Restaurant last night for my belated birthday gift, and I HAD to have the Mango Lassi drink since I haven't been to that Indian restuarant in like 2 years. Uh.. I also had a glass of soda... hey it was a celebration!!

Other than those two incidents, I did pretty well and I think it helped to add to my total week weight loss! But more on that tomrrow when I do my weekly Fit Mama Club post! See you then!

The Return of the Water Challenge

I LOVE doing water challenges. A water challenge is choosing to drink nothing but water for 5-7 days (minus the morning coffee). I have to admit, when I begin a challenge I feel lousy, but once I get over the initial sugar withdrawal, drinking just water for a week does wonders for my body and mind. I wrote all about the benefits of water HERE. It's also a great way to detox and start a healthy eating plan on the right foot. And since I'm all about the Fit Mama Club, I thought it was time to get the party started right!

So who's with me!! It'll be tough in the beginning but you'll lose excess weight, help your digestion, and feel a lot more clear-minded! Water Challenge, here I come!

Fit Mama Club - Here we go!

It is time to get fit! It is time to get fab! It is time to join the Fit Mama Club! Hi all, many of you know me as joonluv630 and I am a mother to an amazing 16 month old little monster. As much as he brings joy to my life, he's also brought a little extra poundage around my mid-section... okay as well as many other places. And yes I do realize that the extra weight I now carry on my frame isn't just from having a baby, because I always was on the curvy side. It's just gotten wayyy harder to come off. I gained 40 lbs during my pregnancy and only lost 20, so now I'm 20 lbs heavier than the pre-pregnancy me (which wasn't so thin to begin with y'all) So I decided that the only way I can get motivated to lose the weight is to start a movement!

So here's what I'm gonna do. Every week I'm going to blog about my weight loss journey, and report back w/ my successes and my notsomuch's. I'm going to do my weigh-ins Sunday morning, and blog about it. On a side note, there's something about starting a healthy eating plan on Sunday that I'm drawn to. Still haven't figured it out yet but it's probably because I have a long history of over-eating on Saturday and feeling the urge to start fresh the next day! (Ya the over-eating has got to stop.)

My healthy eating plan will be a cross between watching my Weight Watchers points, and reducing my carbs. I'll start every post with:

Last Week's Weight Loss
Total Weight Loss
Last Week's High
Last Week's Low
Plan For This Week

SO HERE WE GO!

Last Week's Weight Loss: ZERO
Total Weight Loss: ZERO
Last Week's High: It was my birthday on Tuesday and Anniversary on Thursday!
Last Week's Low: I ate like a maniac due to said special occassions..
Plan For This Week: I will stick to 26 WW points each day with 35 flex points to use throughout the week (or on a designated cheat day). I will drink 4 glasses of water per day, and reduce my carb intake. I will also work out twice this week.

So that's the plan ladies! I'd love some company, so who's in??? Post me on here, or tweet me on twitter (@joonluv630) and I'll send you my amateur banner (be kind!) to put up on each of your posts as well. :) We can tweet our progress using the hashtags: #fitmamaclub or #fmc I'm pumped you guys!! I can feel the pounds melting off already!