Tuesday, January 10, 2012
10 Day Blog Challenge - 8 Fears
Eeeeek!! Here we go:
1) Loss. More times than I'd like, I think of how I'd handle losing loved ones. Most times I can get over it, but sometimes it really bugs me. And now having a little boy, I'm constantly praying for his safety. Sometimes I even question whether I want another child because then it would be another little person that steals my heart and causes me to worry. But I think the joy they bring outweighs the worry, so scratch that - more babies please!!!! :)
2) Regrets. Sometimes I get frustrated with the feeling of not really experiencing much in my life on my own. I lived with my mom until I was 25, then got married and moved in with my husband. I've never lived on my own, never traveled on my own, never made decisions without having to explain to someone why I'm doing it. (I think maybe that's why I got a nose ring this year - my very own personal rebellion) And sometimes I regret not doing more by myself, but then feel guilty because of course I love my family. I go back and forth!
3) Insects. The End.
4) Not having career happiness. I went to school for 8 years, been working in the Mental Health field forever, and have busted my patoot to keep moving forward in this field, but it's a lot harder than I expected. And sometimes I worry that I'm losing track of why I really wanted to be in the field in the first place due to the stress, long hours, low pay, etc. ::sigh::
5) No weight loss. I'm nervous that I'll never lose the 40 lbs that I need to lose, and instead get pregnant again, then gain more, then continue to balloon into a massive beast. I've never lost a huge amount of weight at once, and it feels overwhelming, and sometimes I worry that I don't have what it takes to do it. But I'll keep trying.
6) Being broke. I've never had this fear until I got married, and was now in charge of our family's finances. Prior to marriage, I paid my mom $200 to help out monthly, and paid 2 bills - car payment and cell phone bill. My mom paid for everything else. So now that my mom doesn't pay for everything, it dawned on my that we don't have a money tree in the backyard. GASP! So now, I sometimes get very tight-fisted with our money.
7) Cancer. My hubby and I both say often. "I hate Cancer." Duh, we all hate cancer, but we just say that every so often because of how many lives Cancer has touched (and taken) in both of our families. Now it's almost a given that if you live long enough, you'll get Cancer. Cancer you SUCK!!
8) Car accidents. This is a recent fear. My mom told me that last week one of her co-workers died in a car accident on her way to work. It was the same road that my mom drives every morning around the same time. This particular accident wasn't even that poor lady's fault. This fed-ex driver had a seizure while driving and hit her head on. I'm petrified that something like that will happen to me or someone I love. It doesn't matter how careful you are on the road, someone else's mistake can take your life and it's such a shame.