Love, Life, and a Baby

10 Day Blog Challenge - 7 Wants (in photo)

2012-01-12T12:29:00.001-05:00

In an effort to spice up my 10 Day Chellenge, I decided to share my 7 Wants via pictures! Enjoy!

10 Day Blog Challenge - 8 Fears

2012-01-10T09:15:00.002-05:00

Eeeeek!! Here we go:

1) Loss. More times than I'd like, I think of how I'd handle losing loved ones. Most times I can get over it, but sometimes it really bugs me. And now having a little boy, I'm constantly praying for his safety. Sometimes I even question whether I want another child because then it would be another little person that steals my heart and causes me to worry. But I think the joy they bring outweighs the worry, so scratch that - more babies please!!!! :)

2) Regrets. Sometimes I get frustrated with the feeling of not really experiencing much in my life on my own. I lived with my mom until I was 25, then got married and moved in with my husband. I've never lived on my own, never traveled on my own, never made decisions without having to explain to someone why I'm doing it. (I think maybe that's why I got a nose ring this year - my very own personal rebellion) And sometimes I regret not doing more by myself, but then feel guilty because of course I love my family. I go back and forth!

3) Insects. The End.

4) Not having career happiness. I went to school for 8 years, been working in the Mental Health field forever, and have busted my patoot to keep moving forward in this field, but it's a lot harder than I expected. And sometimes I worry that I'm losing track of why I really wanted to be in the field in the first place due to the stress, long hours, low pay, etc. ::sigh::

5) No weight loss. I'm nervous that I'll never lose the 40 lbs that I need to lose, and instead get pregnant again, then gain more, then continue to balloon into a massive beast. I've never lost a huge amount of weight at once, and it feels overwhelming, and sometimes I worry that I don't have what it takes to do it. But I'll keep trying.

6) Being broke. I've never had this fear until I got married, and was now in charge of our family's finances. Prior to marriage, I paid my mom $200 to help out monthly, and paid 2 bills - car payment and cell phone bill. My mom paid for everything else. So now that my mom doesn't pay for everything, it dawned on my that we don't have a money tree in the backyard. GASP! So now, I sometimes get very tight-fisted with our money.

7) Cancer. My hubby and I both say often. "I hate Cancer." Duh, we all hate cancer, but we just say that every so often because of how many lives Cancer has touched (and taken) in both of our families. Now it's almost a given that if you live long enough, you'll get Cancer. Cancer you SUCK!!

8) Car accidents. This is a recent fear. My mom told me that last week one of her co-workers died in a car accident on her way to work. It was the same road that my mom drives every morning around the same time. This particular accident wasn't even that poor lady's fault. This fed-ex driver had a seizure while driving and hit her head on. I'm petrified that something like that will happen to me or someone I love. It doesn't matter how careful you are on the road, someone else's mistake can take your life and it's such a shame.

10 Day Blog Challenge - 9 Loves

2012-01-09T13:05:00.002-05:00

So it's Day 2 of the 10 Day Blog Challenge, and today is about 9 loves. So here goes:

1) I love spas. Yesssss. I love being pampered - massages, facials, pedicures, the works. I actually am working on having my very own "spa day" at my house where I make a bunch of homemade spa treatments and pamper myself. Calgon take me away...

2) I love hugs and kisses from my little boy. He's at an age (22 months) where he voluntarily will hug and kiss me when he desires. Nevermind the fact that sometimes he chooses to kiss me after doing something naughty. And then smiles sweetly. Cunning lil chap.

3) I love sleep. I've always been this way. I can sleep 10 straight hours without giving it a second thought. So you can imagine the shell shock that I experienced when I realized that most babies don't sleep through the night.. oh and some toddlers still have trouble with it (Mikey raise ur hand).

4) I love my husband's foot rubs, and scalp massages. Why, you ask? See Love #1.

5) I love cruises. I've been to a few, and they are amazing. I love the all inclusive eating and activities. I love the excursions, and the ability to see a few different countries at once. Love love love!

6) I love my iphone. I honestly don't see myself with any other phone for the rest of my life. I plan on just buying upgraded versions right into my 80's.. touching the screen and playing apps with my gnarled, veiny, fingers.

7) I love eating out at restaurants. Maybe a little too much, considering I'm always on a diet. Oops. But it's not just about the yummy food, it's the ambiance. It's the company. It's the conversation. It's wonderful!

8) I love snuggling with my cats. One of them, Sophie, is a big mush. She used to terrorize me as a kitten and I HATED her. But now that she's 4, she loves to hop into our bed , crawl under the covers and lean her round furry body up against me. Cozy!

9) I love reading. I read fiction, non-fiction, self-help, you name it. And thanks to my hubby, I have my very own Kindle Fire! (Which should have it's own Love # cuz it's completely awesome.) I think I've read 15 books this year. Probably more. I put up a list of some of the best ones on the side of my blog, so check it out! ----> ok, you'll have to scroll up a little, then ----> :)

10 Day Blog Challenge - 10 secrets

2012-01-08T10:00:00.001-05:00

I found this great 10 Day Blog Challenge online that helps writers get their creativity juices flowing, and increase their blog posts. Each day you have to write about one of the topics next to the numbers. Wanna join me? Come on! Today is SECRETS. Here are 10 secrets (or more like random facts) that you may not know about me:

1) Tomatoes make me gag.

2) My shoe size is 11.

3) I sometimes check (and re-check) the stove knobs before I leave the house.

4) I'm left-handed.

5) I have a pretty good singing voice but only my husband and son are allowed to hear it.

6) My favorite place to hang out is on my lovely toilet w/ my cell phone or kindle fire, spending sometimes 30 minutes (or more) on my porcelain masterpiece.

7) I work evenings, and HATE it. My current job has me coming home at sometimes 10pm. On the train. From the Bronx. Need I say more?

8) I've already planned out my 2nd career path - when I retire I would like to be a painter/photographer, and have my very own art show one day.

9) I once wanted to try out for America's Next Top Model (5 years ago), but I got married and gained 40 lbs instead. Go me!

10) My favorite movie is "Rain Man", and is actually one of the things that got me interested in working in the Mental Health field.

Day 1 - Mini Meals (meal plan/exercise)

2012-01-07T21:58:00.001-05:00

Today, my total calorie intake ended up being 1625 because I walked a mile that added 124 calories to my allowable amount. I did have some challenges because we ended up going to Friendly's and I couldn't find 300 calorie foods on the menu (big surprise) So I had to eat half of my order, then bring the rest home for another time. Here is my meal plan for the day:

Exercise - 1 mile walk (slow pace) - burned 124 calories

Meal 1 (9am)- Total 310
- Boiled Egg - 80
- 1 Tbsp Mayo - 90
- Whole Wheat Ritz - 70
- Coffee w/ Creamer - 70

Meal 2 (12pm) - Total 410
- 1/2 Friendly's Cape Cod Supermelt - 410
- Diet Coke - 0

Meal 3 (3pm) - 425
- 10 Friendly's Mini Mozzarella Sticks - 340
- 1/4 Friendly's french fries - 85

Meal 4 (6pm) - 310
- 1 cup penne pasta - 210
- 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce - 80
- 2 Tbsp Parmesian Cheese - 20

Meal 5 (9pm) - 170
- Vanilla Pudding - 120
- Small green apple - 50

Not bad for the first day. Tomorrow my goal is to stick to the 300 calories more exactly, since I may not have time to exercise.

My Latest Diet Conquest - Mini Meals

2012-01-07T10:24:00.002-05:00

That's right guys. I'm trying yet another diet style. I know many of you can agree that none of us plan on stopping until we reach our goals. For me, it's to lose 40 lbs. I absolutely HAVE to lose 40 lbs by June 28th. Why? Well, for many reasons:

1) I'm dangerously starting to weigh what I weighed while pregnant with little M, and that is RIDICULOUS - seeing as I'm only pregnant with bread, pasta, french fries, and cookies.

2) June 28th is when I turn.... 30! {GASP} And I do not want to enter a new chapter in my life feeling like the same old tired self that I feel right now.

3) My dad offered as incentive to give me $500 for my 30th birthday IF AND ONLY IF I lose the 40 lbs that I'm desperate to lose. (Okay I don't know if he's being helpful or offensive. Either way I took the challenge.)

4) The end of this year/beginning of next, we MAY be trying for #2, and there is no way I can be this heavy going into another pregnancy. Heck no.

5) My hubby wants to throw me a huge 30th birthday bash and my dream is to walk into my extravaganza 40 lbs thinner and wearing a strapless, form fitting, WHITE dress. That's right. WHITE. I've avoided white for years to avoid being mistaken for a beached whale. As a matter of fact, I haven't worn a white dress since my wedding (almost 5 years ago). Sinced then, black has been my bestest friend. But not on my 30th! I want to be in white, and with all eyes on me!

So now you can see why it's IMPERATIVE for me to lose the weight. Of course, there are the additional common reasons of health, looking good for hubby, energy, etc. And how am I going to accomplish this great feat? Glad you asked!

THE MINI MEAL DIET

I'm sure you all have heard of it. Basically you eat 5 small meals of 300 calories each per day, as opposed to 3 huge meals. The science behind it says that eating 5 smaller meals stabilizes your blood sugar, and increases your metabolism.

From what I read, each meal you eat, your body breaks down as much as it can, and then the rest gets converted to fat. So the bigger the meal, the more gets converted to fat, even if you only eat twice a day. By eating 5 small meals, the body burns up the small meal very easily, and not as much gets stored as fat - plus you have a better chance of burning the calories you just ate throughout the day.

It's also a calorie counting thing. Eating 5 small meals of 300 calories each equates to 1500 calories per day. So even though it'll feel like you're constantly eating, you're actually consuming LESS calories, than what you usually would by having your average 3 huge meals.

I'm really excited to start! I'm actually setting a timer on my iphone to remind me when to eat. So my schedule will be 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, and 9pm. You can make your schedule any way you want, as long as you can space out the meals to about every 3 hours. I happen to work evenings, and don't get home until like 8:30pm, so my last meal of the day always ends up being around that time. I will write another blog post later tonight with my whole day's eating plan, as well as my thoughts on how it went. See you then! [NOTE:] The above picture does not accurately represent a 300 calorie meal, before you guys pull out your hair!

p.s., if you'd like to see a BEFORE picture of me - CLICK HERE and visually add 20 lbs to that. Yup. No words.

Goodbye 2011.. (review of recent past)

2011-12-31T16:05:00.000-05:00

2011 - What a year it's been! My husband likes to call 2011 our "re-building" year. See, we went through some major tough times the past few years. Here's a recap: In 2008, I decided to quit my job to go to school full time. I had a few more semesters of graduate school left, and my husband was doing pretty well in real estate so we thought we'd give it a go on the one income. (With school loans to help of course). Bad idea.

Later on that year, guess what happened - the great economic crash of 2008. We had no clue that was going to happen. The housing market tanked, my school loan was denied for renewal, and then I got pregnant in 2009. Whoa. My husband had to go get a regular 9-5 (which he despised), our debt skyrocketed, and the dreaded collection calls began. This continued into 2010, and once my little guy was born, we were at the highest point personally (overjoyed with the birth of our son), but at the lowest point emotionally and financially.

Then in August 2010, I finally got my Master's degree and things were looking up. By November 2010, I got back into the work world and we started to feel better, but we had a lot of digging out to do in terms of our finances. Cut to 2011 - our rebuilding year. What were some of the hilights?

- My son became a toddler, and started walking, talking (sorta), and developing an amazing little personality.

- We moved from the city to the suburbs onto a quiet street on the 2nd floor of a house. (no more bad neighborhood or mean tenants!)

- I got a raise halfway through the year which helped us out a lot.

- My husband decided to go back to school full time, and thanks to his service in the U.S. Navy, his schooling is completely paid for and they also give us a housing allowance.

Looking back on 2011, it wasn't the best year we've ever had, but we're on our way (Thanks be to God). We paid off 3 out of the 7 debts we currently have, which doesn't seem like much but to us it means the world. See, this year was the first year in awhile that we paid our rent on time every single month, and paid all of our bills on time without "robbing Peter to pay Paul". We finally have a debt plan that seems to be working and we're sticking to it!

Of course, 2011 brought some rough patches between my husband and I, but with God's help, things will get better. And my weight of course CONTINUES to be the bain of my existence. (My new year "weight loss" post is on it's way) I gained 15 lbs this year, mostly weight caused by work-related stress. But I'm looking forward to making some positive changes (job-wise, marriage-wise, and health-wise) that should make 2012 that much better.

Happy New Year, friends. May this coming year bring lots of love, prosperity, and more amazing memories for all of us. God bless!

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Grief

2011-12-11T22:00:00.016-05:00

It's almost 10pm. I'm sitting here in the living room. Big M is sleeping. Little M is sleeping. It's quiet. Peaceful. Yet there isnt much peace going on in my head. I'm grieving a loss. No, thankfully not of any loved ones particularly. It's more of an idea. An expectation. I'm grieving the loss of how my marriage used to be, or what I thought marriage was always going to be like. Yes I still love my husband and of course love my little son but I miss that very first year of marriage. I miss the "getting to know you" stage. And since we did everything traditionally (as Christians), we really were getting to know each other in many ways. Now, four years later, we spend hours every evening sitting next to each other, but not being present with one another. We tap on laptop keys side by side. Comment from time to time about a funny show that's playing on the TV, play with our little one on the carpet next to each other...but still feel like there's an ocean between us. The fact is, having a child changes things. It's the most rewarding thing to ever happen to a person, but at the same time, you aren't the same people that you once were. I miss our spontaneous midnight White Castle runs, romantic vacations, or even just our lazy Saturday mornings where we slept in, then (you know the rest). Now it's more of a 5:30am daily wake up by a screaming toddler - "Hi mama! Hi dada!" blasting in our ear drums. And while I love walking into my baby's room and seeing his toothy/gummy smile... I miss my husband.

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
■ Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
■ Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
■ Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
■ Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
■ Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts

Random Facts About Little ol' Me!

2011-12-03T17:57:00.001-05:00

Hey bloggy friends,

I got this great idea from my son's future mother-in-law Mama Marchand (Yes, he's betrothed at 21 months old - don't judge.) Here are 15 questions and answers about my wacky life. :) Enjoy !!

#1. What's a nickname only your family calls you?
My family calls me Fannie. It took me awhile to accept because in elementary school I would get teased by other students and called "Fanny pack!" or "Fannie has a big fat Fanny!" *rolls eyes*

#2. What's a weird habit of yours?
I guess it's not that weird but I bite my nails. Oh, and I also play with my nose ring often, which looks like I'm picking my nose - but I'm not! HONEST!!

#3. Do you have any weird phobias?
I HATE the sound of bare hands rubbing against certain surfaces, such as a school text book or coffee table.. ughh! I can't explain it, but it's the equivalent to some people's hatred for nails on a chalkboard!!

#4. What's a song you secretly LOVE to blast & belt out when you're alone?
Recently I've been listening to old Nsync songs.. ya baby.. I totally was going to be Justin Timberlake's wife when I was 17! "Bye Bye Bye!"

#5. What's one of your biggest pet peeves?
Hate to put the hubby out there but I'm very particular about our toilet bowl. The seat has to be down and there cannot be any "evidence" of someone's recent tinkle... HMPH!!!!

#6. What's one of your nervous habits?
I smile a lot, which makes me look like a dorky kid. Hey, at least I'm not like my brother. He laughs when he's nervous.. for minutes at a time!

#7. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The right.

#8. What was your first stuffed animal & it's name?
I had a little stuffed snoopy doll called "Snoopy".

#9. What's the drink you ALWAYS order at Starbucks?
I'm more of a McDonald's McCafe kinda gal. And right now I totally L-O-V-E the Peppermint Mocha. YUM-O!

#10. What's the beauty rule you preach.. but never ACTUALLY practice?
I would say, don't sleep in your make-up. And I pretty much do 4 days out of the 5 day work week. Yikes, that sounds really gross after typing it out. I'll have to change that right away.

#11. Which way do you face in the shower?
I face towards the water.

#12. Do you have any 'weird' body 'skills'?
Um. I could probably be fresh with this answer but I won't. (Hey I'm married! LOL)

#13. What's your favorite 'comfort food'/food thats 'bad' but you love to eat it anyways?
I have too many to count, but what I love the most is going to a Chinese Buffet and taking out a huge platter for myself. Then eating it in my car while listening to the radio. It's probably not the healthiest thing to do but I get some major "me" time and feel a lot better afterwards.

#14. What's a phrase or exclamation you always say?
"What the!" and "For Crying Out Loud!"

#15. Time to sleep - what are you wearing?
I wear one of my husband's "junk" shirts (as we like to call them) and his flannel sleep pants... er.. I think I need to go shopping cuz I'm totally bumming off the hubby!

2011-11-24T13:18:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! This is by far my most favorite holiday! There's something about the food, the family, the fun... It's a time that is completely dedicated to spending time with loved ones, not just how much you can buy them or what you receive.

And this year my little guy is going to be able to REALLY enjoy the food! This morning I made our first annual Thanksgiving Day breakfast which was: scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, toast, and fruit. YUM! Then this afternoon we're headed over to my mom's house for the big feast! Last year my son was only 8 months old and I had to make him homemade mashed potatoes while we all gorged ourselves with everything else. But now he's 20 months old. And with all those new pearly whites he's got (ya and they seem to want to pop out at 3am causing his blood curdling screams) he can actually partake in all that Thanksgiving has to offer! So what's on the menu?

-Turkey
-Ham
-Stuffing
-Rice
-Sweet Potatoes
-Yams
-Macaroni Salad (I make this!)
-Green Salad
-Homemade cheese cake
-Store bought apple & pumpkin pie

Mmmmm!!! *unbuttons pants*

I definitely need to remember to bring my tupperware. Yup, leftovers are just as good - especially for a midnight snack. But don't fret, I'll be back to my DIET DIET DIET obsession tomorrow. :) I'll be starting the Paleo Diet again. I'm trying to drop 15 lbs by December 25th. Wish me luck! But for now... GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!!

That's it - This Family is Going Organic!

2011-10-23T21:50:00.003-04:00

I just finished reading "Master Your Metabolism" by Jillian Michaels. Wow. Let me just say that at first, all I read it for was to find a new diet regime. I'm a bit of a serial dieter, so pretty much every month I move on to the next new thing. But after reading this book, it opened up my eyes to what's more important than just being a yo-yo dieter: Being HEALTHY.

The book really goes in depth into how our hormones play a huge role in why some of us hold onto weight more than others. If you are the kind of person that will only lose 2 lbs after weeks of working out 5x/week and eating very little calories, you may have an imbalance with the hormones in your body. Many people have thyroid issues and don't even realize it. What's even more interesting, is that many of the hormone imbalances that we have are caused NOT by genetics, but by the type of food we put into our body and the timing that we eat throughout the day. So our bodies are going hay-wire, trying to regulate hormones that shouldn't be in the body, which slows everything down - including weight loss! Ahh!!

The beef that we eat comes from cows that were given estrogen hormones to fatten them up about 3 lbs per day. This is for obvious reasons. More meat = more money. The problem is that the saying rings true - YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. If your beef has been injected with hormones, the beef on your plate has those very same hormones, and the milk that comes from those cows have those very same hormones.

Milk?? What the, what?! Mamas.. need I say more? If you are giving your toddler regular milk, thinking that it's benefiting them, it really isn't. There are such high levels of estrogen in our milk (cow and soy) that there is research showing young boys growing up with issues with their sex organs, as well as young girls getting their period too early and developing breasts too soon. Yikes! And you know how there are more diagnoses of ADHD in America? Well research has been starting to link these cases with the crap in our food. And what do our doctors do? Just give our poor kids medications that just screw up their chemical/hormonal levels even more. Ugh!

I can go on and on about it - and maybe I will in a later post. Needless to say, I went food shopping yesterday and pretty much changed everything in our fridge and cupboards, from organic eggs, peanut butter, and pasta, to organic milk, juice, and snacks for my little guy (and big guy too). By the way, it wasn't much more expensive than buying regular groceries and eating healthy now will save us money in the future w/ reduced medical costs later! In total, we spent $150. The norm is about $120, but we also were doing a total overall and purchasing things that we won't be buying every week. So it's well worth it.

Oh, and guess what? My son didn't even notice the change in milk, and I think he enjoyed the organic milk even more! I tell you, it feels great to be able to confidently give your baby food that you know has no preservatives, no hormones, no funkiness at all. :) And if hubby and I lose weight in the process, it'll be an added bonus!

Let's not Assume

2011-09-13T10:46:00.001-04:00

After working diligently with a family for 3 months, they successfully completed the family therapy program today. This was a kid who smoked marijuana daily, ran away often, barely went to school, and the mother had a history of being physically aggressive. Now, the family is communicating well, handling their conflict appropriately, and the teen is looking forward to starting 10th grade this week.

Interestingly enough, though this family is a success, I never really got a vibe from the mother that she liked me very much. She often disagreed with my therapy techniques, and there were times where I could have sworn I saw a scowl on her face when I came by the house for our weekly session. She was fairly quiet in general, and only seemed to speak up when she was arguing with someone in the family.

So here I am, saying my goodbyes, handing the family their certificate, when the mother blurts out, "I'm sad." I ask her why, and she looks at me, smiles sheepishly and says, "I feel like I'm losing a friend." I was speechless. And touched. I stammered something about keeping in touch and always being available for support but I really was in shock. It's funny how we can perceive a situation (or person) one way, and the reality be totally different. I thought her final words to me would be "Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya!"

That experience led me to think about how many times we all make assumptions about people and maybe treat them unkindly because of it. Of course I always treat my clients with the utmost respect and kindness (even the challenging ones), however, what about other people in our everyday lives?

What about the homeless man on the corner? "Oh, he probably is gonna use this dollar for drugs so I better not give it to him." What about the mother in the grocery store with the toddler having a meltdown? "Wow, she's not parenting properly. Look how she's enabling that kid to have a fit in the middle of the aisle!" What about the ex-con who's applying for a job? "Hmm. It's best not to hire him 'cause old habits die hard. He probably can't be trusted." Meanwhile the homeless man was hungry, the toddler's mom was tired, and the ex-con was reformed.

We should always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. If someone cuts you off on the road, ya they could be a terrible driver, OR they could be on the way to an emergency situation. We should always treat others the way we would want to be treated, and I'm sure you'll agree that we all want to be cut some slack sometimes. How we treat others should solely be based on our desire to show love and kindness, not how we expect to be treated in return. And that's a lesson that we can all use for many different relationships in our lives.

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Post Pregnancy Weight Loss is Tough!

2011-08-21T23:04:00.002-04:00

I'd just like to say that, yes, I was told that my body would change after pregnancy, but I had no idea what I was in for. Before Baby (B.B.) I was round-ish, but comfortable with my body. I would wear tank tops that would show off my arms, and my stomach was fairly flat - just with a little padding. I think I was about a size 10-12, and at 5 foot 7, I felt good about it. Now, After Baby (A.B.) I'm pushing size 14 and dare I say size 16 in one God-awful pair of Kohl's jeans that I'd like to cut up and burn in effigy. What the heck! I know that I'm about 10 lbs heavier than what I was B.B. but the way it sits on my body, I might as well be 30 lbs heavier. My boobs are bigger, and a bit saggish. I feel like I should be singing, "Do your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow..." My little monster would love mama singing that tune. I can see him clapping now, with his little chiclet grin. And let's not talk about my belly. I swear I still look 4 months pregnant. I look like a half deflated basketball. Gee, I know what I can be this Halloween. Pass me some orange paint and a black marker. In any event, I can't give up on getting my old body back. Or at least a healthier and toned version of the body I have now. I am very proud of what my body has done to birth and nourish my son. I just don't want my body to look like it's been through war either. So I press on. I will continue my journey through A.B. weight loss. I can't imagine having a 2nd baby at this starting point. They may just have to roll me into parent teacher's conferences in a wheel barrel!

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
■ Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
■ Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
■ Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
■ Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
■ Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts

Fit Mama Club - Week 7

2011-08-21T22:01:00.011-04:00

I did a lot better this week with my eating! I started reading about the Paleo Diet again. (I discussed this diet HERE.) I still don't have a new scale yet, so I have no idea whether I gained or lost. I definitely will get one this Friday! Here's my update:

After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: No clue because I have no scale
Total Weight Loss: Not sure yet
Last Week's High: I got back on track with my eating!
Last Week's Low: I found it hard to say "no" when people offered me treats out of kindness. Such as my hubby making me waffles in bed, or my mom having an impromptu BBQ.. (I'm so glad summer's over by the way. And the overload of BBQs is one of the many reasons.) I also did log my eating into my Fitness Pal app. Tsk tsk tsk!
Plan For This Week: I will continue working on my low carb Paleo Diet eating plan. Which leads to this week's Fit Mama Challenge!

Fit Mama Challenge: Only eat healthy carbs such as fruits and vegetables. Stay away from the bad carbs like white bread, pasta, rice, etc. You can have 3 "open meals" this week, which means you can have some of those carbs.. just don't binge! So c'mon Fit Mamas! Are you up for the challenge?

Fit Mama Club - Week 6

2011-08-16T15:05:00.007-04:00

I'm sooo totally off track! Well not totally, I actually started reading a book called "Eat to Live" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman and it talks all about how the less chicken, beef, and pork you eat, the better. It's healthier and you can lose up to 20 lbs the first 6 weeks of the plan. The problem is, though my mind says this is the healthy way to go. My heart (and my stomach) tell me that it's too drastic of a change! Ahhh! Anyway, here's my update:

After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 0
Total Weight Loss: 0
Last Week's High: I worked out 3 times (20 minutes each) which is a great improvement from my total lack of cardio in the past.
Last Week's Low: My beloved Scale is dead. R.I.P. It stopped working. No matter who gets on it, me, my hubby, my little monster, it displays all of these weird characters and doesn't give the weight. So now I'm going nuts until I can purchase a new one! (next payday)
Plan For This Week: I work out 3 times again this week but increase it to 30 minutes each time. I will stick to my calorie limit (which I am keeping track with by using the wonderful Fitness Pal app!) I will also complete the Fit Mama Challenge!

Fit Mama Challenge: Only have meat (i.e. beef, chicken, pork, or even fish) once per day. So no turkey sandwich for lunch then chicken for dinner! Try to get used to eatin gmore fruits and veggies!! So C'mon Fit Mamas! Are you up for the challenge?

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But the Greatest of These is Love

2011-08-05T17:25:00.001-04:00

It's an interesting phenomenon being a working mother. You feel guilty when you're at work for not being home enough for your family, then you feel guilty when you're at home for not focusing hard enough on work. You're in this not so comfortable limbo of not fitting completely in either life and just barely getting by.

Many a times I have fallen victim to what some call "Stinkin' Thinkin'". It's when all you can think of is what you aren't doing right. You only made dinner once this week. You didn't get a chance to scrub the ring around the tub. You didn't pay enough attention to the hubby today. You forgot to write that progress note at work. You didn't get back to your client in time. Tsk tsk tsk! And before you know it, you're in this whirlwind of a pity party because you "just can't do anything right".

The other day, in my self-induced pity party of one, I was thinking about how UN-domestic I am, yet not completely career driven like some of my co-workers either. I felt like the maladjusted middle-child, not knowing where I belonged, and feeling like a terrible mother to boot. But that's when God snatched me up by the collar and shook me out of the pool of lies I was allowing myself to drown in.

I realized that I'm doing the best that I can and my little guy loves me like crazy regardless of whether there is a cheerio (or 4) left on the living room couch. And what's more important anyway? The bit of cat hair on the carpet or the "tickle monster wars" that happen in that very same spot? Love covers over all those minor imperfections. That's what we as mothers need to think about. "...whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8)

My mother was a hard working single parent, and though I had my fair share of frozen fish sticks and happy meals, the memories I cherish most are the special "mommy and me" trips to the library on the weekends. The side-splitting laugher we shared over the silliest of things. The times she let me hop into her bed and cuddle - and didn't complain when I tinkled a time or two. Those are the things that fill my heart with joy, and my little monster will feel the same.

There was a study done of two groups of baby monkeys. One group was given food and water, but no interaction with their mama. The other group was given food and water and allowed to cuddle up to their mama, nurse, and interact with her freely. At the end of the study, the group of monkeys that did not feel the love from their mama failed to thrive. They were sickly, violent, and anti-social. The ones with their mama ended up just fine. It's all about LOVE. As long as we make our times with our little ones count, there's no need to sweat the small stuff. LOVE. That's what our children need. "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:13) Give your children extra hugs when you can. And while you're at it, give your hubby extra kisses too. ;)

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: My Husband's Guest Post

2011-07-31T21:58:00.005-04:00

I told my hubby about Sunday Stream of Consciousness and he thought that it was a pretty nifty thing to be a part of. So I asked him to be my guest blogger for this week's exercise and he jumped at the opportunity. Let the record show, I did not pay my hubby, in any way shape or form (in the bedroom or out), for what he decided to write about. :) Enjoy!

My wife asked me to be a guest on her blog. At first I didn't really know what to write about. She told me to just say anything that comes to mind.

I would have to say I'm very proud of my wife. She's an excellent companion, mother, and a very thoughtful person altogether. Some may seriously regret being married. I can honestly say I do not regret it. I do develop the occasional twitch when she gets on my nerves. Ok, perhaps I'm embelishing a tad. The truth is we've had our share of troubled times.

I guess you could say I'm the type of person who wears his heart on his sleeve. Yes, I'm quite emotional at times. She says she loves that about me. But just because I am emotional, doesn't necessarily mean I cry. But it doesn't mean I'm not stressed out. More recently I've been going through a legal battle with my former boss Isaac. He is an unscrupulous, self centered... ooppps, I promised I wouldn't lash out here. So why did I bring this up? Great question! The good that this has brought out is I am remembering to pray over my family more often. I'm remembering the basics of what any good christian home should include. It sounds simple but my wife has been a rock through this. She has been standing by me and praying with me.

My wife is my other half and I'm so blessed to have such a woman be my partner through the good times and the bad. I just hope there are more good times than bad ones. With the help of God I think its safe to say that we'll be ok.

Yes ladies, I am grinning ear to ear...

This was my [husband's] 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

■ Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
■ Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
■ Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
■ Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
■ Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts

FIt Mama Club - week 4

2011-07-31T21:41:00.000-04:00

Sadly it was a big Fit Mama Club fail last week. I totally got caught up in emotional eating and went to town. I actually gained the 2 lbs I lost the first week. :( BUT I can't give up. I know I won't be at the weight I would like to be by the end of the summer, but my new goal is to lose 25 lbs by December 31st to start the new year off as a lean mean healthy machine! Here's my update:

After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 0
Total Weight Loss: back to 0
Last Week's High: If I count today as part of last week - me, my hubby, my little one, and my mom went to the beach. It was the first time that my little monster felt sand between his little toes and salt water in his curly baby 'fro. It was an amazing feeling to watch it all.
Last Week's Low: My major Fit Mama crash and burn ::sigh::
Plan For This Week: I will work on eating only when I'm hungry and stop eating when I'm full. I will also complete the Fit Mama Challenge!

Fit Mama Challenge: Only drink 8 oz of juice per day (4 oz in the morning, 4 oz in the evening), and the rest of the time, drink good ol' H20! (Yes, one cup of coffee per day is an acception.)

Baby #2 Bucket List

2011-07-28T21:21:00.003-04:00

So I was reading a fellow super mama's blog, and she had a post that was pretty cool. She created a bucket list - you know, the things you need to do before you ____ . This particular bucket list was created listing the things she needs to do before she and her husband have a second baby. When I read that, I was like YUP! I need to create one of those too! You all read here that I have been having the baby itch as of late, but I've been trying to remind myself that it's not the right time just yet. So this was a perfect way to share it visually.

MUST HAPPEN BEFORE BABY #2
-Get my counseling license and find an office job (no more field work!)
-Save $3,000 for a baby fund
-Lose 25 lbs to get down to the weight I was when I got married
-Hubby needs to get his Associates Degree

WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN BEFORE BABY #2
-Lose 35 lbs (that would be a dream!)
-Have $5,000 in savings (in addition to the baby fund)
-Save up for our first house

FUN STUFF BEFORE BABY #2
-Go on another cruise(Norwegian Cruiseline is the bomb!)
-Go on vacation to St. Maarten and/or Antigua
-Hubby and I going away for a few days for a little one-on-one romance (Poconos anyone?)
-Hubby and I getting matching tattoos (on our ring fingers <3)
-Get myself a cute little nose ring (cheeyahhh babyy!!)

So that's the plan! What do you guys think? Any more suggestions??

Waiting for Change

2011-07-22T11:00:00.002-04:00

Yesterday during a therapy session, I sat with a family who were fighting like cats and dogs. When I was able to get their attention, I pointed out that it seemed like they were all waiting for the next person to change before they decided to treat that person kindly. I suggested that they treat each other kindly first - which would lead to the changes in behavior their seeking. That didn't resonate too deeply with them but it was a Eureka moment for me.

We all have people in our lives- friends, spouses, siblings etc that tick us off. It's almost as if they know us so well for the sole purpose of getting under our skin. And we hold them to a higher level of accountability because we expect more from them. But what I've come to realize over time is that we only have the power to change our own behaviors, and waiting for the other party to change when they have no motivation to do so will have you waiting 'til kingdom come.

I once read in "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian that we should treat our spouse as the person we want them to be, not the person they are at this point in time. The idea is that this will give them the motivation, confidence, and feeling of respect they need to grow into that person. And as we treat them kindly, we pray. We. Pray.

Pray for the ability to trust God in that situation. Pray for the removal of our unforgiveness. Pray for the other party to accept our kindness and open their heart. Pray for the relationship to be healed. And through this kindness, through this respect, through this hope, comes the rebirth of a relationship better than before.

So let us not wait for someone else to change. Let us become an active role in the change process by being kind, forgiving, and supportive. Before you know it, the other person will see the err of their ways and thank you for not giving up on them.

Fit Mama Club - Week 3

2011-07-17T22:32:00.001-04:00

Okay so last week was a Fit Mama Club fail *insert funny cartoon noise - womp womp womp* Halfway through the week, I let my emotional eating get the best of me, and struggled the rest of the way through. But this week is a new start. A new chance at making a difference in my health and weight. So let's go!

After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 0
Total Weight Loss: 2.4
Last Week's High: LiL Monster had a wonderful week at daycare! He's finally starting to get used to it, and actually has fun! He still cries when we drop him off, but from what I hear, he stops as soon as we leave, and he starts playing with the other kids.
Last Week's Low: Still didn't work out last week. What is my malfunction!!
Plan For This Week: I will stick to 26 WW points each day, drink 4 glasses of water per day, work out twice per week, and complete the Fit Mama Challenge!

Fit Mama Challenge: No eating out for one full week. Not only will that help as far as our health goes, but it'll also help our pockets! So c'mon ladies! Time to go grocery shopping! ;)

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: The Baby Itch Attacks

2011-07-17T21:42:00.001-04:00

Yup. I've got it. I've got the baby itch. At first I thought it would pass, but it's been a few weeks and I still feel the need for another little one! I'm a total nut because at this time, lil monster is a handful as it is. Plus work is tough, and i'm still working towards my counseling license. And we're still trying to rebuild our finances. We don't own a home, we rent. So it's just not the right time. But i can't help but miss the "new baby" smell. The newborn cry. The breastfeeding (yes ladies, I kinda miss that too). I miss having a little one that I can cuddle for an hour straight and baby being in total bliss over it. Lil monster is just growing up too fast. And I think that is the major reason why I'm feeling this way. He's such a little person now. With his own personality, his own decisions... ::sigh:: and he'll keep growing and growing from here! Next thing you know he'll be saying "C'mon ma, you're like sooo embarrassing!" arghh... I am not in a rush for that to happen. I just have to take a step back and make sure that I'm feeling these things for the right reason. I've mentioned my thoughts here and there to the hubby, but he hasn't really taken me seriously. I mean, he knows that it's definitely not the right time for us. But I can't help but dream of our baby #2 (maybe a little girl, woop!). I can't wait to see how lil monster treats his lil sibling. It's funny cuz I was helping in the Nursery at church today, and holding the little infants made this mama itch for a baby even more! And you know what MY little ankle biter did? He tried to push the 6 month old outta my hands, and even went as far as to pull her little hair! I was mortified. Very. In any event, it was nice to be around the little babies, even if only for 2 hours. It definitely confirmed that having more children is in my heart, but now if my finances and busy schedule could hop on board - that would be awesome!

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

■ Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
■ Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
■ Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
■ Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
■ Go visit http://allthingsfadra.com/ and link up and comment on other’s posts

Ignore the Label Please!

2011-07-15T12:20:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I worry that I'm labeling my little one way too soon. He's only 16 months old and my husband and I, as well as a few family and friends have already labeled him as The Strong-Willed Child. Of course there is some tiny truth to that assumption. He does need to be told numerous times NO (as many toddlers do) and sometimes will swat the person who is keeping him from his prize. Yes, afterwards, he'll slowly sneak back to the scene in question and try to repeat the offense when no one's looking. Let's not forget the occasional (well a little bit more than that) temper tantrum where if he can't have that special something, he'll flop on the floor and roll around screaming with arms flailing. But how much of his future personality are we shaping by passing his normal-ish toddler behavior as a hard and fast personality trait?

See, I'm a Family Therapist and study people for a living. And all too often, I see members of families pigeon-holed into a role such as the: Smart One, Trouble Maker, Sensitive One, Bully, Scapegoat.. the list goes on. I've often wondered, how much of the label comes from true character traits or from kids living up to what they've been hearing all of their lives?

When counseling youth displaying delinquent behaviors, almost always they tell me, "I'm the black sheep! I'm the problem!" And likewise from the parents, "They've been like this since birth! Causing us all grief!" Of course I then suggest that the kid hearing this for years may have shaped their behavior - or at least their motivation to make more positive decisions. Needless to say it takes a few sessions before the parents are willing to chew on that tasty little morsel.

So that brings me to my questions to you, dear readers. Do you feel you were labeled as a child? How much of that do you think may have affected your life decisions? How can we as parents choose our words wisely to give our children a fair shot at growing into their own true selves?

Just Not the Natural Order of Things

2011-07-14T22:07:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wonder how things would be if I were still a stay at home mom. I stayed at home for the first 8 months of my son's life and towards the latter part of those months, I felt like I had lost my identity. Between nightly wakings, dirty diapers, nursing, cooking, cleaning... I felt like a robot. I believed so deeply that if I only found a job, then I would feel like myself again. Many of us mamas know how tough motherhood is and as much as we love our little ankle biters, they change our lives DRAMATICALLY. And after awhile, all you want is to get back to some level of normalcy. So I prayed and prayed and prayed...

And God answered my prayer. So I started working, and at first I felt revived. This is how its meant to be, I thought. Now I'm me again. Now I'm whole. Except, no - I was actually leaving a part of me at daycare. Not whole at all. And like that, discontentment reared its ugly little head again. All of a sudden I felt like I was missing out on all the wonderful moments in my little guy's life. Working felt like it was sucking the life out of me. Robbing time away from my husband and son. I work evenings (cuz that's all I can find right now) so my husband gets to put lil monster to bed all week. He gets all the goodnight hugs and kisses. The most I get is the 11pm diaper change where I quietly steal kisses as he snores and wiggles his little toes.

And that's where I'm at right now. I prayed so hard for a job, and now that I have what I wanted, I feel just as lost as I did before I began. It just doesn't feel like the natural order of things. But what really does?? If I could have a happy medium, part time work and part time home, would I then be content? Or would I just move on to the next thing that's not "fair" about my life?

So many questions, and not enough answers. I can go around in circles thinking about my situation. But I have to leave it in God's hands. My parting thought is from Scripture, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:33-34). Easier said than done, but I'll always keep trying.

Fit Mama Club - Week 2

2011-07-09T12:43:00.023-04:00

How are you all doing! Here's my Fit Mama Club update for Week 1! After my update, I'll share this week's Fit Mama Club challenge. If you wanna join up, leave a comment or tweet me @joonluv630.

Last Week's Weight Loss: 2.4
Total Weight Loss: 2.4
Last Week's High: I took three days off - very much needed!
Last Week's Low: One of the families that I counsel is not doing well and I won't be able to close the case next week as planned... and I didn't work out last week. AT. ALL.
Plan For This Week: I will stick to 26 WW points each day, drink 4 glasses of water per day, work out twice per week, and fulfill the Fit Mama Club Challenge!

THIS WEEK'S FIT MAMA CLUB CHALLENGE

How many of you eat the correct amount of vegetables per day? According to the USDA Food Pyramid, we're supposed to be having 3-5 servings per day. To be honest, I'm lucky if I get 5 servings a week, let alone per day. That's why I felt it was important for this week's challenge to be a Veggie Challenge!

One serving of Vegetables is equal to:

* 1 cup of raw leafy green vegetables
* 1/2 cup other vegetables (cooked or raw) or
* 3/4 cup vegetable juice

And what are the benefits of following these guidelines?

1) Substituting fruits and vegetables for higher-calorie foods can be a great part of a weight loss strategy. They are low in calories, high in volume and high in critically important nutrients. They fill you up, without loading you up with fat and calories. And when your stomach is filled up with high volume, low calorie food, there is less room for other bad stuff.

2) Plant-based foods help to control food cravings and overeating.

3) Compared with people who consume a diet with only small amounts of fruits and vegetables, those who eat more generous amounts as part of a healthful diet are likely to have reduced risk of chronic diseases, including stroke and perhaps other cardiovascular diseases, and certain cancers.

4) Fruits and vegetables are a natural source of energy and give the body many nutrients you need to keep going. They are a great "on-the-go" snack.

5) When your body is getting what it needs, you are going to feel better physically and emotionally. The absolute best vegetables to help speed up weight loss are green vegetables- Collard Greens, Spinach, Swiss Chard, Brussels Sprouts, Broccoli, Cabbage.

CHALLENGE: Eat at least 3 servings of vegetables per day for 7 days.

Who's with me?? All you have to do is share your progress each day on twitter with the hashtag #fitmamaclub, and post every Sunday morning with last week's successes and this week's goals. Comment or tweet for more info!

Water Challenge - Hit and Miss

2011-07-09T11:42:00.007-04:00

Overall, the Water Challenge went pretty well! I did have a few set backs though:

1) One evening, the hubs decided to cook dinner and brought out a plate and drink for me.. the drink was fruit punch. And without batting an eyelash, I drank it all down - THEN was shocked and realized, holy moly I'm on a water challenge! Thankfully it was only a 1/2 a cup, and I drank two cups of water right after.

2) My best friends took me out to an Indian Restaurant last night for my belated birthday gift, and I HAD to have the Mango Lassi drink since I haven't been to that Indian restuarant in like 2 years. Uh.. I also had a glass of soda... hey it was a celebration!!

Other than those two incidents, I did pretty well and I think it helped to add to my total week weight loss! But more on that tomrrow when I do my weekly Fit Mama Club post! See you then!

The Return of the Water Challenge

2011-07-05T09:46:00.003-04:00

I LOVE doing water challenges. A water challenge is choosing to drink nothing but water for 5-7 days (minus the morning coffee). I have to admit, when I begin a challenge I feel lousy, but once I get over the initial sugar withdrawal, drinking just water for a week does wonders for my body and mind. I wrote all about the benefits of water HERE. It's also a great way to detox and start a healthy eating plan on the right foot. And since I'm all about the Fit Mama Club, I thought it was time to get the party started right!

So who's with me!! It'll be tough in the beginning but you'll lose excess weight, help your digestion, and feel a lot more clear-minded! Water Challenge, here I come!

Fit Mama Club - Here we go!

2011-07-03T07:47:00.008-04:00

It is time to get fit! It is time to get fab! It is time to join the Fit Mama Club! Hi all, many of you know me as joonluv630 and I am a mother to an amazing 16 month old little monster. As much as he brings joy to my life, he's also brought a little extra poundage around my mid-section... okay as well as many other places. And yes I do realize that the extra weight I now carry on my frame isn't just from having a baby, because I always was on the curvy side. It's just gotten wayyy harder to come off. I gained 40 lbs during my pregnancy and only lost 20, so now I'm 20 lbs heavier than the pre-pregnancy me (which wasn't so thin to begin with y'all) So I decided that the only way I can get motivated to lose the weight is to start a movement!

So here's what I'm gonna do. Every week I'm going to blog about my weight loss journey, and report back w/ my successes and my notsomuch's. I'm going to do my weigh-ins Sunday morning, and blog about it. On a side note, there's something about starting a healthy eating plan on Sunday that I'm drawn to. Still haven't figured it out yet but it's probably because I have a long history of over-eating on Saturday and feeling the urge to start fresh the next day! (Ya the over-eating has got to stop.)

My healthy eating plan will be a cross between watching my Weight Watchers points, and reducing my carbs. I'll start every post with:

Last Week's Weight Loss
Total Weight Loss
Last Week's High
Last Week's Low
Plan For This Week

SO HERE WE GO!

Last Week's Weight Loss: ZERO
Total Weight Loss: ZERO
Last Week's High: It was my birthday on Tuesday and Anniversary on Thursday!
Last Week's Low: I ate like a maniac due to said special occassions..
Plan For This Week: I will stick to 26 WW points each day with 35 flex points to use throughout the week (or on a designated cheat day). I will drink 4 glasses of water per day, and reduce my carb intake. I will also work out twice this week.

So that's the plan ladies! I'd love some company, so who's in??? Post me on here, or tweet me on twitter (@joonluv630) and I'll send you my amateur banner (be kind!) to put up on each of your posts as well. :) We can tweet our progress using the hashtags: #fitmamaclub or #fmc I'm pumped you guys!! I can feel the pounds melting off already!

What Do You Get a Man Anyway??

2011-06-30T20:21:00.001-04:00

Today is our 4 year wedding anniversary! Yup, I've been tied to the ol' ball and chain for 4 whole years and together for 7 in total. Wait, isn't the wife supposed to be the ball and chain? Oh well. Anyway the thing is, every year that passes, it gets that much harder to find a gift for big monster.

This year I got him two pairs of shorts, two DVDs, and a card. Over the years I've gotten him cologne, candy, shirts, watches, shoes, video games, gift cards, etc. What the heck am I gonna do for the next 50 years?! Not to mention that with the added holiday of Father's Day, there's even less to spread around.

Women are so easy to shop for. We want the flowers, the chocolate, the occasional lingerie - you know, the timeless gifts that keep on giving. But for men? Forget it. I get more nervous watching him open his gift than actually opening mine!

We keep saying that we want to start not giving gifts and just go away on a romantic vacay as a mutual gift. Unfortunately, every year money is an issue so we have to deal with the gift giving fiasco all over again.

So what do you gals think? What gifts have you given your men that have been major winners? Please share cuz this wifey is running outta ideas!

Birthday Blues Be Gone!

2011-06-28T18:57:00.001-04:00

What is it about birthdays that cause us to frown, scoff, and want to hide under our covers? It wasn't always like this. Remember when birthdays represented growth, fun, and surprise? Now the only growth I experience is around my mid section. Or the surprise of an old poopy diaper hidden under the couch.

But seriously, I remember when turning 13 was such an accomplishment. Then my sweet 16 was all I could think about. Oh and turning 18 meant I was officially an "adult". What was the last exciting birthday? 21? Oh boy, now I was REALLY legal and could order a drink if I wanted. (which to this day I'm not really into.)

After those birthday milestones, birthdays for me didn't really feel any different than any other day and it wasn't until this year - today turning 29 - that I actually wanted to skip it all together! Upon analyzing, I realized that yes part of it is feeling like I'm old (only one more year til the big 3-0!) but the bigger part is unrealized dreams and aspirations.

We all create plans for ourselves, about where we want to be at age such-and-such, and when you aren't quite in the place you dreamed of, it does throw you for a loop. It's almost as if you wish you could have a "do-over" button and fix certain things that you're unsatisfied with. Your favorite phrase becomes "What if I had..." and you lose sight of all that has gone right.

But you'll all be happy to know that after much prayer this morning, I came to realize that it's not about my will but God's will in my life. And His will is so much sweeter than what I could ever conjure up. I just need to be patient (as hard as that may be) God reminded me that I originally had 3 goals to accomplish by age 30 - get married, have a baby, and be a licensed Mental Health Counselor. Hey, 2 outta 3 ain't bad and I still have one more year to get my license so praise God. What happened was, along the way, I added tons of sub-goals to my original 3 (like losing 40 lbs, going to Europe, living in a mini-mansion, meeting Michael Jackson *RIP*) that clouded my appreciation for all that God has given me. I have a loving God, a loving family, big monster (hubby) and little monster (baby), a job, caring friends (online and off)...

It's crazy but as I'm sitting on this crowded train, a homeless man just said to everyone that he just got out of prison, he's HIV positive, he's hungry, needs a little money, and he doesn't want to go back to jail. I immediately started tearing up. I couldn't say no to that. And how timely was it to strengthen my resolve even more that I should be thanking God for another healthy, happy, and blessed year on this planet.

Philippians 4:12 says, "I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." In other words, Paul was saying that he learned through experience the importance of being content w/ your situation - whether in abundance or when struggling. We may not be happy every waking moment but we can still be joy-filled through Christ.

Oh and by the way, the hubby made this birthday extra special by getting me a kitten! I named her Pinky!

Happy Birthday to me!!

My Weight Loss Journey Continued - The Paleo Diet

2011-06-27T19:19:00.002-04:00

Being busy busy busy does NOTHING for your health. Between taking care of little monster, trying to spice things up with my Mister, and working nonstop, I have managed to gain 7 lbs on top of the leftover baby weight that has been plaguing my existence since March 1, 2010.

I've done Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers. good ol' fashioned calorie counting, you name it - I've tried it. Nothing has really worked for long and sadly I've felt deprived in some form or another with all of them. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that deprivation = failure. Not cool. But I still trek on. I can't give up. I have gained 40 lbs since meeting my husband and it's done nothing for my self esteem. And now with summer finally hear. I'm DREADING the oh-so-terrible bathing suit shopping. NOOOOOoooo!! (insert echo)

In any event, I have learned about yet another diet (or healthy eating plan) called THE PALEO DIET. This diet is based on how the "cave-men" ate back in the day during the Paleolithic period. Before the McDonalds' and Krispy Kremes, there was a simpler, healthier way of eating.

According to Dr. Loren Cordain, our ancestors ate lean meats, vegetables, and fruits. Period. Grains weren't introduced until generations later, and once they were, so was a reduction in health. So the bad carbs we love so much - bread, rice, cereal, pasta, etc cause a lot of our health issues today - including obesity. I know I know, this sounds just like all of the other low carb diets out there. The main difference is that this diet doesn't forbid you to eat fruit. Also, it even allows you 3 cheat meals per week to keep sane and motivated! The idea is that if you're eating well the majority of the time, having cheat meals won't harm you (as long as you aren't bingeing!).

This diet seems more of a fit for me because if I do decide to treat myself within reason, I don't have to be guilt ridden for the rest of the week. Phew! So I've been reading the Paleo Diet book and it sounds good so far. The eating plan seems realistic and the recipes are great. So I'll keep you all updated! *fingers and toes crossed*

I'm Baaaacckkk!!!! (again)

2011-06-27T10:31:00.001-04:00

Hey out there in blogger land!! It's been forever since my last post. And rightly so! Right after my son's 1st birthday, work started to get hectic (and still is), married life started to get hectic (and still is), and mommy life... well you all know the deal so I don't have to say it.

Despite all of the chaos, I've still been feeling like I need an outlet - to get my feelings out and share my journey - so here I go blogging again. The difference is, now I'm typing out my post on the train ride into the city and actually posting it later when I get a (rare) free moment - and wifi.

So what's new? Well little monster is almost 16 months old and practically RUNNING around the apartment. He still looks like a drunken sailor while doing it but who cares, that's what makes it extra cute right? He doesn't talk much yet but understands a lot. He follows commands (sit down, come here, pick that up, etc) He also can point out tons of stuff on his body. He loves that game! He loves it so much that the other day when he was crying, I asked him to point out his nose to distract him, and he pointed while continuing to cry lol Picture a sobbing baby pointing to his nose over and over. That was priceless. He also can say mama, dada, hi, and cat (which sometimes sounds like car but we know what he means).

On to the next thing. Work. Work has been kicking my patoot. Working evenings doing family therapy in homes in the Bronx = stressed out chick who is a therapy session away from an ulcer. The pay is pretty good though so I feel like I'm stuck. Until I get my mental health counseling license that is (but that's a year and a half away)

Then there's the marriage - which has gone into a not-so-lovely mundane roommate type of situation. I feel like we're that typical "old married couple" which makes no sense since we've only been married for 4 years! Alas, little monster definitely had a big part in that, along with stress from work, finances, over-tiredness, etc etc.

And how do you turn that around? Ya ya ya, date nights and all that. Listen, we go out to eat by ourselves once a week but for some odd reason, even the conversation during those times circle around little monster. Or Real Estate, which is my husband's passion. Or my hatred for my job. Fun.

We keep saying that things will change but we don't ever take action steps to do it, which annoys the crap outta me. I mean all I do each day is listen to people's problems and help them put plans together to change their situation, yet I feel powerless to change my own. Isn't it ironic. Don't ya think? It's kinda like that heart surgeon who smokes like a chimney. Weird.

In any event, I guess I'll just keep trying, and praying, and hoping. Oops, gotta go or else I'll miss my stop. Loovvve NYC transit!! (insert sarcastic tone) ;)

Water Challenge Victory!

2011-02-05T16:17:00.004-05:00

I did it! I went 7 days drinking plain old H20! I started off doing well, midway through I wanted to throw in the towel (but I didn't), and now on the 7th day, I feel victorious! And guess what?? I lost 2 lbs and I wasn't even dieting or exercising! Yes, I know I should have been, but I just wanted to see what changing one bad habit would do to my body. And now, I actually crave water when I'm thirsty. I also lost those initial srong cravings for juice, soda, and sugar in general. Will I do this forever? Well no. Ha! But I am thinking of making the water challenge a weekly event, where I drink solely water Monday thru Friday, then drink juice on the weekend. All in all, it was a great experience. I proved to myself that I am NOT a slave to my cravings! WOOP WOOP! WOOP! *Arsenio Hall fist pump*

Day 3 of Water Challenge - withdrawal symptoms begin...

2011-02-01T20:51:00.004-05:00

So it's Day 3. I NEED JUICE. PLEASE! ORANGE JUICE. APPLE JUICE. ANYTHING! The first two days weren't so bad. But today, everything I ate seemed to beg for an accompaniment of sugar. Eggs in the morning? How bout some OJ. Hot dog for lunch? What about some diet coke? Lowfat spinach dip for a snack... hmm... my mind was going crazy for a sweet treat! ::sigh:: I knew it couldnt be as easy as I was hoping but still. Right now, all I want is a nice warm cup of hot cocoa, but I know that it would go against the challenge so I must abstain. I know it's for good reason. I heard that it takes 21 days for a habit to form, so maybe after the 7 day challenge I can move up to 21 days?? Uhh... can't think that far ahead.

Some of you may be asking, why can't u have diet coke or flavored water? Well for one thing, pure water is the best for cleansing purposes. And besides that, for me sugar is a trigger. Even FAKE sugar is a trigger. So I know myself enough to know that having a diet coke really is only a gateway drug into wanting more sugary things. So pure water it is! How are my fellow water challengers doing? Any withdrawal yet???

Water Challenge Revisited

2011-01-29T22:33:00.007-05:00

Remember my September Water Challenge? Well that was a big flop. I don't even remember what derailed me but the challenge was just too challenging for me I guess! In any event, I've been feeling so sluggish lately, like I need a detox or something. So that's why I wanna TRY to give the challenge another shot for this coming week. NOTHING BUT WATER FOR 7 DAYS.. I can't even imagine what kind of withdrawal my body is going to go through from the lack of sugar.

I'm assuming I'll go from this:

TO THIS!

Wanna join me? Let me know! I'm going to aim for 42 glasses of water in 7 days
(six glasses per day). Can you do it? Do you think I can?

My Moose and Zee 1st Birthday Party Thoughts

2011-01-27T08:49:00.005-05:00

Mikey LOVES Moose and Zee. He usually ignores TV otherwise, but as soon as Moose and Zee pop up on the boob tube, he drops everything, mouth wide open, drool spilling for all too see:

So I decided that this would be a great theme for his 1st birthday party! But do a quick google search and there is practically NOTHING out there for a Moose and Zee theme. NickJr has stuff you can print out, but I was hoping that there was a party favor sight that I could just get everything from. I'm looking for a caketopper, wall decals, and maybe those decorations that hang from the ceiling. I'm going to get light blue and yellow helium balloons to float around everywhere too. Hmm.. if anyone has any other ideas, let me know. I'm not going to go completely nuts about it because I'm a firm believer that HE WILL NOT REMEMBER a lick of any of it so why stress myself out? Of course I'm going to try to make it cute, but it'll just be a small gathering, with a few family members, friends, food, and fun. I'm sure he'll be more concerned with the cake we're going to let him taste that day! And earlier that day he'll have his Baby Dedication at our church as well, so it'll be a wonderful occassion. Can't wait!!

Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred - Day 1

2011-01-24T20:54:00.005-05:00

CALORIES BURNED: 167

Okay. I started the 30 Day Shred. AGAIN. Usually I never seem to be able to get past day 3, I have no idea why.. Okay yes I do. It's called LAZINESS. NOT GOOD! In any event, if at first you don't succeed - well you know the rest. So last night was Day 1. Can I just say, ouch! I was so out of breath and tired and whiney and blecchhhh!! I finished the 20 minutes, but I really don't think I did it with as much effort as I should have. But my body was creekin and crackin! Arghh!

I'm glad I did it though. I didn't enjoy the actual exercise one bit, but I did enjoy the after-endorphins and the feeling of accomplishment I felt aftwards. So I'll keep plugging away. I PRAY that I learn to love exercising... or at least learn to tolerate it and make a habit out of it.

Oh, and I think I'm going to buy a Heart Rate Monitor (HRM) because I'm tired of guessing how many calories a certain exercise is burning. From what I hear, a HRM would tell me exactly how many calories I'm burning at that exact moment. So if anyone has a HRM recommendation, please comment!

Somewhere Along The Road of Motherhood... (poem)

2010-12-12T20:02:00.012-05:00

Somewhere along "The Road of Motherhood"
I lost my identity.
I all of a sudden had to become everthing for everybody,
no longer able to just be me.
I now wear many hats, you see.
Dauughter, Sister, Friend, and now Mother.
And that last hat is harder than the others.

Of course I'm overjoyed for a family like mine.
A husband, a baby, what more could I need?
But alas a sadness creeps in at times.
A yearning for some autonomy.

Motherhood isn't what I thought it would be.
To some it doesn't come naturally.
And sometimes there's guilt when you've had enough,
when you want to walk away when things aren't easy.

The expectations are what is killing me.
To work, be a wife, and a nurturing mommy.
I'm torn between desire and capability.
And come down hard on myself when I can't juggle all three.
But "If I don't do it, it won't get done."
That's my mentality.

So onward and upward, with a smile on my face.
Most times it's real but then there are those other times.
Times of sadness I'd like to erase.
And hope that sometime soon I'll find my place.
To just be me.

Just a Note - My feelings don't just stem from motherhood per se, it's all of the responsibilities that come with being an adult/wife/mother. I love my son more than anything. This is just a fragment of all of the emotions I feel about my experience.

Baby's 1st Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T10:18:00.009-05:00

The pictures explain it all! The little one loved Thanksgiving with all of the food, family, and fun. That was his grandma holding him by the Turkey. I made him homemade mashed potatoes so he could participate in eating what we were eating, and he gobbled it all up! It's amazing just to think that last Thanksgiving, he was in my belly kicking me in the ribs and this year he was in his high chair, his little feet kicking at the dinner table.

Thanksgiving means so much more now. We're so thankful for our God, our marriage, our amazing son, and our friends & family. Having a baby really forces you to look at everything through your little one's eyes and it's wonderful to experience everything like it's brand new. What a joy! How was your Thanksgiving?

Monkey See, Monkey Do!

2010-11-11T10:50:00.006-05:00

My little one is 8 months old and this is shaping up to be the most interesting and fun month of his life yet. He finally seems to be comprehending the world around him. In the previous months, life was just happening around him. Now, he is starting to participate, which is exciting.

For instance, he has learned to wave "hello" or "bye bye". It's more of a copy cat behavior at this point, but it's still cool! We'll wave at him when saying hi or bye and he'll smile and wiggle his little hand and fingers LOL Then we praise him like crazy of course which he loves.

He also will copy what he sees on TV. I've been watching him while he watches NickJr, and when he sees other kids do something like dance or wiggle their hands or feet, he sees to be trying to mimic.

And my favorite behavior? Well, I have always kissed his little cheeks and blown raspberries on them, and guess what? He's finally picked up on it and just last night he laid a big wet open mouth kiss on my cheek and blew raspberries! Then I returned the favor, and he did it again! LOL I'm just amazed at how much these little babies learn and absorb in such a little amount of time.

Now crawling is another issue.. he isn't anywhere near that yet but I'm not worried about it. He sits on his own, rolls all over the place, and army crawls on his belly to get what he wants. I think crawling is around the corner though because he'll pull up on his knees but not know what to do next so he'll drop down again, hehe. It's only a matter of time before he convinces himself that he's brave enough to start moving. :) My little monster is growing up!! Ahhh!!!

Back To Work I Go - And Baby Goes To Daycare

2010-10-31T09:00:00.009-04:00

So bittersweet. Well, right now it feels more like bitter. I graduated, got a job as a Family Therapist, and I start tomorrow. I've been counting down the days til I started work, only now to feel so lost as the day approaches. Last week we had a trial run with daycare so that I could be around to run to the rescue if he really was having a tough time. Well, he had a tough time. He cried for 4 hours straight, only taking a nap for 1 hour, then waking up for more crying. I kept calling for updates, and the daycare lady told me that she feels that we spoil him. How she came to that conclusion in only a couple of hours on the first day of watching an 8 month old, I have no clue.

In any event, I told her that he just needed time to adjust and that he's the only baby in our family right now so he gets held a lot. We don't spoil him at our house, but far be it from me to tell his grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins not to hold him when they see or babysit him. Thankfully he started to adjust towards the second half of the day, but it was still a traumatic experience for the both of us.

On top of that, his stridor got worse from all the crying he did. Stridor is "a high pitched sound resulting from turbulent air flow in the upper airway, usually heard on inspiration". He has had this stridor on and off since birth, but his pedi kept saying that it was normal for him, that he was just overly excited, and that we shouldn't worry. So every time he would get upset or very excited, he'd do that gasping/whistling noise. When he calmed down, it would stop. At some point, we though it might be Croup, which is an upper airway infection that can cause the stridor sound. But that turned out to be false since he never seems to have any cold or flu like symptoms along with the noise.

So of course, at daycare (where he probably was the most anxious since he came out of the birth canal), his stridor got really bad. The daycare lady started talking about not wanting to get her business shut down if he stops breathing, and all kinds of malarkey. So, to appease her, we brought him to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist. Turns out, I'm so glad we went because we now have a diagnosis for the noisy breathing. Thankfully it isn't severe, but our baby has mild Laryngomalacia. Laryngomalacia, also known as a "soft larynx", is "a very common condition of infancy, in which the soft, immature cartilage of the upper larynx collapses inward during inhalation." So when he gets excited and takes a deep breathe, the soft larynx fold together causing the whistling. The specialist said that it's genetic so somewhere along the line, myself or my hubby may have had family with the condition. And 95% of all cases correct themselves by 12-18 months of age. So though the daycare lady was a pain in my patoot, at least we now have a name for our little monster's squeaky breathing, and we're glad it's not asthma or anything life threatening.

But besides all of that, tomorrow I start work officially and I won't have the luxury of dropping everything and running to his aide if he is not adjusting well. And I'm a mess. I can't bare for him to be crying for hours again, exacerbating his condition, and just feeling lousy for the next week or two. This morning, I held him during his feeding, and just started bawling because I was picturing his little lip curled downward at daycare, looking around for mama and dadadadada (as he likes to call him). But at least he'll only be at daycare on Mondays and Tuesdays. We're very blessed to have family and friends who are willing to watch him for the rest of the week. So I guess The first two days of the week will be my nail-biting, stressy messy days, and then I'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief once we hit Wednesdays!

Looking back on my time as a stay at home mom, I wish I didn't complain about the lack of sleep, time, or money so much. I was blessed to be able to spend 8 full months with my baby, 24/7. And though it was tiring, I at least was the one who cared for and spent the most time with him. Now he'll be cared for by others more than by his own mother, and that is something I'm still trying to come to grips with. In the long run, I know that this will be the best thing for us since we'll be in a better financial situation and be able to move to a safer, quieter and more spacious apartment/neighborhood. So I guess I'll have to bite the bullet, and hope that things fall into place. For today, I'll just enjoy my pumpkin's first Halloween, and revel in my last day as a stay at home mom. Alas, time is my worst enemy! Pray for me!

Cut The Fluff - Week 5

2010-10-25T15:14:00.005-04:00

I know, I know, last week I said I was ready to throw in the towel. But this week, I'm more hopeful! Call it more sleep (yes the bambino is sleeping better these days!) Or possibly last week was just some major PMS, but this week I'm feeling like I CAN DO IT. I went to my weight watchers meeting over the weekend, and while I didn't want to weigh in cuz I didn't feel I worked hard enough last week, I felt that I needed to know the truth so I could move on from there. Well to my surprise, I lost about half of a pound. While that may not seem like much to others, it's great for me since I was expecting to see myself gain!

So for this coming week, I will work on tracking my food better, more water, and exercise 3 times this week... for an hour each time!! ::gasp:: I was gonna stick to my 30 minute rule (brought on by laziness) but 3Carrigans had a great post that shed some new light on why it's important to work out for an hour, not just 30 minutes or else you'll just maintain the weight you have on. So I will try doing an hour 3 times this week.

I also met a great woman on twitter, howtoloseit, and she's a Team Beachbody Coach who is motivating me to get these last 25lbs off. Check out her website HERE. Plus, of course my #CutTheFluff girls! So I have a lot of support and will continue on my Quest for a healthier me!

Cut The Fluff - Week 4

2010-10-20T12:30:00.006-04:00

So I skipped a Cut The Fluff post last week because I had nooooo motivation to eat well or exercise. I just have so much on my plate. I still only get about 4 hours of sleep a night due to the baby's night wakings, and I'm so tired during the day that I can't even focus on remembering to comb my hair half the time, let alone losing all the weight that I want to. And I'm going back to work full time in 2 weeks, so that's an added stress also.

I really am contemplating whether I should take a break from all the weight loss aspirations like @Mommyboots did, as explained in her blog post HERE. I think I'll give it another few weeks though. I'm hoping that once I start working, I'll get into a good routine that will help me stay on track with eating since I'll be busy. A lot of times, I find that my poor eating is a result of being too close to the fridge at home while taking care of my little one LOL. One spoon of food for him, two fork fulls for me! I'm looking forward to not having tons of food readily available to me 24/7. Here's to getting back on track this week. *fingers crossed*

So what are this week's goals?

Goal 1: Stay within daily weight watchers points allowance
Goal 2: Take two walks (no pressure to add a specific amount of time)
Goal 3: Lose 2 lbs

We. Need. Friends.

2010-10-13T10:49:00.009-04:00

No, no, no, I'm not saying that my husband and I don't have ANY friends and that we're social outcasts. Not at all. But my husband and I have been discussing how becoming parents has made us quite the lonely bunch. Why, you ask? Well most of our friends are not married, and don't have children yet. And the ones that do (in)conveniently live out of state.

So our Saturday nights consist of playing with the baby all day, taking naps when the baby does, eating, watching TV, then playing with the baby some more until he falls asleep. We then of course fall asleep 10 minutes after he does because we're so exhausted from our day (of doing basically nothing at all.) And now that the munchkin is almost 8 months old, he's pretty much past the "newness" phase where everyone wants to come over just to see him. Now we're at a point where people call to hang out, and if we can't find a sitter, the answer is a resounding NO. Aw, maybe next time, they say. Ya, right.

We just haven't been able to find a niche group of young married parents like ourselves to relate to. How much easier (and more fun) it would be to have dinner with another couple with a peanut like ours. The kiddos could play together and the rest of us could have adult conversation. We could feel like "us" again. I wonder if it ever gets better. I guess once our friends start having kids, it will be a little easier. Except now we'll have a toddler running around with no interest in a tiny newborn. :::sigh::: For now I'll stick close to my twitter/babycenter friends and hope that we find some actual bodies to hang out with sometime soon. My twitter name is joonluv630 by the way. :)

Don't label me with that number, please!

2010-10-11T11:25:00.014-04:00

Today has been a rough day. I looked up my credit score and was NOT pleased, to say the least. My score has shot down 200 points in the past 10 months. Why you ask? Well, it all started in 2008 BEFORE the economic collapse. My husband was in Real Estate full time and I was a full time case worker. I was in grad school part time and knew that if I didn't go full time at some point, I'd be in school for the next 5 years despite being in school already for 2 years thus far. So, not knowing what the future had in store for us, we decided that perhaps we could survive on the one income since my husband was doing extremely well and I also had student loans to cover extra expenses. So I quit. Please know that we didn't make this decision lightly. I sought wise counsel (like the bible teaches) and each person I turned to said that it seemed like a good idea, seeing my husband's income was abundantly flowing, plus we had money saved up, etc.

Who knew that the economy would crash the way it did for the first time in decades? Certainly not us. In any event, we survived for a couple of months, then the housing market slowed down terribly. Let's face it, it didn't slow down, it stopped. Real Estate was NOT the business to be in. And now we had barely 2 nickels to rub together, literally. My husband had to search for a regular 9-5 and I came up preggers. Wow.

I don't even know how we survived, but we managed to keep our basic needs met. (Actually I do know how - God - and God working through our family.) And then my husband found a Customer Service job. Hurray! Things were looking up, and soon our beautiful baby boy was born. Happy happy joy joy! Wait, hold off on the streamers. Six weeks after I gave birth, my husband got laid off. This was even tougher than the first time because we didn't have ANY savings since we were living paycheck to paycheck. Again, we managed. Thankfully, 2 months after that fiasco, he found a great sales job. But by the time he found this job, it had been 2 months of having to forego making payments on certain bills and loans, in order to pay for rent, electricity, the car note, and other basic needs. We did the best we could to survive. Finally I got my degree over the summer and recently found a job as a Family Therapist that starts next month. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, right? What's the problem?

Unfortunately, though we weathered the storm(s), we are still dealing with the after-shock which is my damaged credit. When we got married, we put most things under my name because my credit was perfect. It was in the mid 700s. But after 10 months of difficult times, my credit is pretty much in the high risk range. Sadly, some accounts are now in collections because of being 60 days or more past due. So the creditors keep calling...and calling...and calling. No matter how hard we try to work with them, we can never seem to catch up for the lost 2 months. And of course they don't care about how perfect my credit was prior to 2009. They all paint me with the same brush - as if everyone who has bad credit MUST be irresponsible. No, it couldn't be due to a rough patch. Of course not.

I feel like screaming to each one of them over the phone, "No I am not bad with money. No I am not a shop-a-holic. No I am not a gambler. No I am not lazy. NO I AM NOT A LOSER, DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY THINK MR. CREDITOR!" But that won't help. I'm sure they've heard it all. I've tried to tell them that we've just come out of the hardest year of our lives and are trying to rebuild. Some are nice about it and some are jerks. But all want their money. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand this because the bible says to owe no man anything but love. I know debt is wrong. We just have had extenuating circumstances that have put us in this situation. Yes, things will get better, and God-willing, 2011 will bring amazing things. BUT today is today. And today is tough. Today it seems like the 6 weeks it'll take to get my first paycheck will be the longest 6 weeks of my life.

Try rocking an overtired baby to sleep while the phone keeps ringing every 30 minutes. Which of course leads to me putting the phone off the hook to get some peace. No, I'm not trying to run away from our debt but I don't know how many different ways I can say that we won't have the extra money to pay everything off until I start working. Period. I guess I can rest on that saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"... hmm.. but that doesn't make me feel any better. I tell ya, it'll be a difficult road trying to put together what has been destroyed, but we can only go up from here. So thankfully, I can at least feel good about that.

Healthy Eating, God's Way

2010-10-08T09:13:00.007-04:00

I usually don't put any of the devotionals that I write on this blog, since this blog is geared more towards motherhood, dieting, etc. However, the devotional that I wrote for next week is about healthy eating! So I figured, it would find a place here, at least for the week. :) And since I'm a Christian first above all else, oh well for those who don't agree! ::cheesy grin::

Healthy Eating, God’s Way - October 12, 2010

Key Verse: Daniel 1:16 – So the guard took away their choice food and the wine they were to drink and gave them vegetables instead.

Healthy eating has been a life-long struggle for me. I’ve been up and down when it comes to weight. To show you what I mean – I was a chubby baby, thinned out around age 5, back to chunky at 8, thinned out again around 13, porked out during college, thinned out right after college, back to chubby after getting married and having a baby. What a rollercoaster ride! But thankfully, as I get older, I’m starting to lean more towards just being healthy instead of trying to be a size 8.

When reading the Bible this morning, I came across the story of Daniel. To make a long story short, the king of Babylon took over Jerusalem and ordered that the strongest and most affluent Israelite men were to be brought to him to be trained for his service. Daniel was one of them. During that time, the king ordered that the men be fed the best meat and wine from his palace. Daniel, however, asked that he and his comrades Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, not eat what the others were eating. Daniel 1:8 says, “But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way.” So the palace food that, in my opinion sounded pretty darn tasty, was considered defilement of the body to Daniel. Wow. That’s definitely not what I’ve been thinking of when the most exciting night of the week for me has been Pizza night.

So God gave Daniel favor with the guards, and they agreed to let Daniel and his boys eat their own food for 10 days. All they ate was vegetables and water. ::GASP:: But guess what happened at the end of the 10 day challenge? They looked healthier and better nourished than the others. That’s just in 10 days! To make things even better, verse 17 says, “To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.” So not only were they healthier physically from the change of diet, but emotionally and spiritually they were healthier as well. This sheds new light on why it’s important for all of us to take care of our bodies (and minds).

Later on we find that Daniel’s healthy eating led to wisdom and God giving him the gift of dream/vision interpretation. This in turn led him to become very close to the king. How might eating healthier change your life today? You may not need to lose weight, but eating healthier will make you feel much better inside and out. Isn't it amazing how even guidelines for healthy eating are in God's Word? Praise God!

Additional Verses:

Daniel 1:19-20: “The king talked with them, and he found none equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah; so they entered the king's service. In every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king questioned them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters in his whole kingdom.”

1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

Are you apart of the 11:11 club?

2010-10-04T13:10:00.006-04:00

For the past couple of years, I've noticed that I will look at the clock almost daily at exactly 11:11am or 11:11pm or 1:11pm. (Ooh, I'm looking at the clock at 1:11pm as I type!) And I did a quick Google search about it. Turns out there is a whole 11:11 club out there! Supposedly, there are guardian angels on Earth that use this digial recognition just to let you know that they're around. I don't know how much of that I believe, but it's still an interesting phenomena. People have even written books on this subject. There must be something to it since I had no clue that anyone else but me experienced it until I Googled.

Some other folks believe that it is nothing but our imagination. They believe that we notice other time combinations daily as well but since 9:42 doesn't stick out as much as 11:11, we don't remember it. I don't know if I believe that either. So I'm at the middle ground on the subject. I don't know if I believe that spirits are running around forcing you to look up at 11:11 but I don't believe that it's completely hogwash either. What do you think? Learn more about the 11:11 phenomena HERE!

Cut the Fluff - Week 2

2010-10-04T10:10:00.007-04:00

I had a terrible week. blecchh.. I didn't do ANY exercise (what the!) and I didn't track my weight watchers points as closely as I should have. The result? I gained 0.4 lb. ::gasp:: I know it was my own darn fault. I just let life get in the way of my goals. I know it shouldn't be an excuse but the munchkin STILL doesn't sleep through the night so I STILL feel like the walking dead. I can barely keep the house clean and cook dinner, let alone find the energy to work out. But there is light at the end of the tunnel:

Over the weekend, my brother and his girlfriend came over for dinner. His girlfriend brought her world famous SLAMMIN cheesecake. She left the cheesecake here. I brought half to my mom but kept the other half. (naughty, naughty) It then began taunting me from my fridge. I had a slice late last night (more naughty naughty) This morning I woke up, took one look at it (drooling), and threw it out. !!! I can't believe I did that! I have to admit, I felt a bit panicky because I was thinking, What the heck am I doing? Sweet goodness going to waste?!?! But I knew that I'd have another HORRIBLE week if I allowed such a weakness to remain on my back. So that was my triumph, since I've never done that before. I threw away perfectly good cheesecake. (I'm still shaking and twitching from the after effects)

The goals for this week are pretty much the same as last:

1) More fruits and veggies
2) 2 hours of exercise (Lord help me!)
3) Lose 2 lbs
4) Drink 6 glasses of water per day (NEW)

He's Officially a Belly Sleeper!

2010-09-29T15:42:00.006-04:00

Babies grow and change so quickly. It's amazing (and weird) how they'll reach a new milestone over night. Two nights ago, I put the munchkin to bed on his back, like always. Hours later when I went in to check on him, this is what I find:

I couldn't believe it! I was so excited for him but at the same time I was like "aww nuts, he's growing up!" One of my twitter friends @RosesDaughter said that once her Pookah started doing that, he began sleeping through the night. Music to my ears! ...or to my eyes since it's twitter.. oh who cares, the important thing is SLEEP! That has been something I have been lacking for what now will be 7 months come October 1st! Yes he'll have a good week here and there, but for the most part it hasn't been easy. I don't mind the actual wake ups, since I tend to wake up for my own potty breaks throughout the night. It's just that once he's awake, he's AWAKE. He will not go back to sleep for 2 hours. No matter what I try. I'm hoping that the belly sleeping will help that. I did notice that last night, he fell asleep after 1 hour, instead of 2. That was because after changing him, giving him a bottle, and singing to him for a little while, I put him on his belly and pat his back. He fell asleep quicker. Yes! I'm hoping that in the next couple of weeks this will transition to him sleeping all night period. We'll see! But for now, I'm proud of the little guy and can't wait to find out what new milestones are to come!

New Health Challenge - Cut The Fluff Week 1

2010-09-27T11:49:00.004-04:00

I'm amped! I'm ready! I have joined a new health challenge! It's called Cut the Fluff and was started with a few lovely twitter friends of mine @RosesDaughter, @mrs_cjones, and @3Carrigans.

My goal is to lose 20 lbs by the new year. I do want to lose more weight than that but losing 20 lbs will get me to a weight where I feel more comfortable and confident in myself, which sadly has been something that I've been lacking since becoming a new mommy. It's weird because though I'm currently at the weight I was before having my little munchkin, it's all proportioned differently. Of course I have a little too much cushion in the belly area.. boo!

In any event, today is the first day of major change! I have to admit, the major challenge will be exercise for me. I tend to do well with my eating, for the most part, but do NO exercise so getting into a healthy exercise regimen will really be tough.

So here are the challenges for the week:

Create a calorie goal and track everything you eat.
- DONE! I'm currently on weight watchers so I have 26 points a day plus 35 flex points a week.
Incorporate fresh fruits and vegetable into as many meals as you can.
- Hmm... I must go to the market today to stock up.
Get in at least 2 hours of exercise this week.
- Uh oh! This is what I was nervous about! Okay, so I'd like to start off with 30 minute cardio, 4x this week.
My Personal Goal - Lose 2 lbs for the week

REWARD: Get my hair done (My hair looks like a rats nest)

I'm super excited! If you wanna join in the healthy fun, click on the link 'Cut the Fluff' in the first paragraph to join!

I'm cranky today...why o' why?

2010-09-23T11:43:00.008-04:00

Questions For the Little Munchkin:

- Why o' why must you wake up each night at 2:00am and not fall back asleep until 4:30am?

- Why must nap time in our home sound like you're getting open heart surgery WITHOUT anesthesia?

- Why do you like to poopy IMMEDIATELY AFTER mommy just changed you into a fresh, clean, dry diaper?

- Why do you cry three times a night when the binky has fallen out of your mouth, so mommy can trip over slippers, bump into the night stand, and stub her toe on the side of the crib to put one of the four binkies that are laying right by your head, back into your mouth?

- Why must you throw your toys on the floor, watch mommy pick them up & hand them back to you, only for you to throw them back on the floor again and squeal with laughter?

- Why will you ONLY fall asleep to mommy singing "You Are My Sunshine" 24x in a row, and then begin to cry if she stops for a breath of air?

- Why must you "play" with our two cats and bunny rabbit by pulling their tails and grabbing their paws until they run away and hide in terror?

- Why is it such a joy to yank at my earrings, poke at my eyes, sock me in the nose, and stick your whole fist in my mouth?!!

- And lastly, why must you be sooo darn cute while you do each and every one of these things every single day!?!?!?!?!?!

Okay after re-reading this, I feel so much better, hehe. I love the little guy... even if I do look like a war victim after taking care of him all day. :)

My munchkin has croup!

2010-09-18T08:28:00.012-04:00

Yesterday morning, the baby was playing like usual in his exersaucer, having a grand ol' time. When all of a sudden he started doing this wheezing/gasping for air noise every so often. At first I though he was just being silly because in the past he sometimes did this when super excited. The sound I'm talking about is if you jump out at someone and yell "Boo", and the other person gasps out loud. It's a scary sound when it's coming from your cute & cuddly 6 month old.

So after about an hour of being frantic I knew I had to bring him to see his pedi. Thankfully our pedi is really good with squeezing us in whenever we feel nervous about something. Of course when we got there, the baby made a liar out of me and didn't make the noise once. His lungs sounded clear and he sat there all smug, playing with his plastic keys. BUT me being Ms. Prepared, and knowing how sneaky my little one can be (tee hee), I videotaped the sounds he was making with my iPhone. ::shakes fists in air with triumph:: So I played it for the pedi and he immediately said that it was something called Croup, which is a viral infection caused by the common cold. It's a swelling around the vocal cords, and is common in infants and children. If it's mild, it'll go away on its own. The munchkin didn't have a fever, just very slight congestion and a cough every once in awhile.

So what were the doctor's orders?

- Keep his Cool Mist Humidifier on at all times
- Lots of fluids
- Steam him up by turning on all the hot water in the bathroom, then sitting with him (outside of the shower) just to inhale the vapors with the door closed
- Keep a close eye on his breathing and temperature

It's Day 2, and so far he still has that wheezing sound (which is actually called Stridor.) I hope this goes away soon. Babies who have a severe case have to go to the ER and get oxygen treatment! :( I tell ya, I'm watching my lovebug like a hawk. Right now he's sleeping comfortably in his bouncer with a blanket and his wooby. What's a wooby you ask? Only his BEST FRIEND.

I guess it's going to be a nice quiet day of us cuddling and loving and babying our little one... and me going nuts disinfecting everything in the house. No relaxed weekend for this mama ::sigh::

Gratitude Journal

2010-09-07T21:56:00.010-04:00

I am thankful for God, my husband, and my baby son.

I am thankful for family members that help us out when our finances get out of wack.

I am thankful that even though I'm desperately searching for a job (and have no bites as of yet) God has been providing for us left and right.

I am thankful that my husband is doing well at his sales job, and actually enjoys what he does.

I am thankful that, for the most part, my baby sleeps through the night.

I am thankful for the funky smell that grows underneath my baby's double chin because I get to make little sniffy noises and say "ewww!", which cracks him up every time.

I am thankful for a handful of close friends that are so loving and caring towards me and my family.

I am thankful for THIS chicken gyro recipe because I made it for dinner tonight and it was a big hit.

I am thankful that the Lord somehow helped me to graduate grad school in the midst of financial woes, pregnancy, birth, a newborn, and many sleepless nights.

I am thankful that my mother always makes herself available to babysit her grandson when mommy and daddy need a much needed rest.

I am thankful that MY grandmother is still alive and well, and also makes herself available to babysit her great-grandson when mommy and daddy need a much needed rest.

I am thankful for our favorite TV Show "Big Brother", which happens to be the only show that I know of that airs new episodes 3 times per week.

I am thankful for the new church that we're interested in attending regularly, which has been making going to church exciting again.

I am thankful that God is so forgiving, and that His mercy and love endures forever. (Read Psalm 136)

Are parents to blame?

2010-09-07T09:03:00.011-04:00

Earlier this morning I was on the Baby Center site and was reading a thread on one of the message boards. A woman created a thread about feeling horrible because she felt her step-daughter was evil. She said that the step-daughter had tried to smother her biological daughter with a pillow. She also jerked her 6 month old's arm very hard while in their van. She terrorizes the other children by biting them, hitting them, etc. Because of the chaos that the little girl has brought to the home, this woman told her husband that she didn't feel comfortable with the child in the house and doesn't allow the child to come over anymore. She is willing to bring her husband over to the step-daughter's house, but not have the little girl in her home for fear that she will do something harmful to her other kids. She also mentioned a boat load of other stuff about her husband being a drunk, and not being bonded with his son (the 6 month old).

Immediately pretty much everyone chimed in that this woman was a bad mother and was showing favoritism. That the little girl wasn't the problem, it was her. They said that a 6 year old is incapable of murder. They said that as long as she was being a good mother and watching her children, that nothing would happen. Another member attempted to side with the original poster and say that though the situation is difficult, the safety of the new baby and other children are most important at this time.

I have to say, being in the mental health field, I agree with the one lone poster who was brave enough to speak up. I'm appalled that this woman would be lambasted and told she is a horrible mother because she feels that the step-daughter may do something terrible to harm the other children. Yes, the original poster was out of line by calling the step-daughter "EVIL", however, I can tell you, through studying mental health, all too many times there has been a sibling who killed another sibling, and it was all due to parents ignoring the warning signs and not taking it seriously.

You can be the best parent possible, but you still can't watch your children 24/7. Everyone needs to sleep. Short of locking each child in a separate room, there is no way to completely keep all of your children away from each other. It's like blaming a parent for a child who dies of SIDS. No parent can CONSTANTLY keep watch to make sure that their child is still breathing (though many of us try). Similarly, no parent can CONSTANTLY keep watch to make sure that one 6 year old isn't suffocating another at 2 am when others are asleep. This is why removing the child with the emotional difficulties is the best thing to do. Sorry if this angers people.

Many of the posters said "Well the step-daughter is probably going through a lot because her parents aren't together and she may be jealous of the other children..." Yes this is true, BUT parents are responsible for the well-being of their kids. If one of your children is showing signs of aggression towards others, which is bordering on life-threatening, it is the job of the parents to remove that child from the home immediately - step-child or biological child. Once ALL children are safe, then the parents can now focus on getting the child in question the appropriate therapy, medication, mentoring, etc.

YES a 6 year old CAN kill another child, sadly, they can even kill themselves. Just this past April, a 6 year old in Oregon killed herself after being told she had to go to her room for time-out. This is a sad case but clearly the poor child was mentally unstable. She wrapped a belt around her neck and hung herself from the side of the crib. It is debatable whether she meant to do it, but her parents did report that she had already been caught playing with a belt around her neck before. Either way, these things happen and any form of mental instability should be taken seriously, not brushed off as just "kids being kids". 6 year olds can be mentally disturbed just like adults can.

I just had to sound off about this because in the social service field, I've seen so many children taken away because parents refused to see that one of their children was dangerous and needed to be separated from the others. Separation doesn't have to be final, but death IS. I was hoping to share my opinion in the thread itself, but by the time I got there, they shut it down because it was getting to be a heated argument.

Incidentally, many other members believed that the original poster was a fake or a "Troll" as they call them, and was just writing this to cause chaos on the board. Either way, I think it's an important discussion to have and am disappointed about how many people felt that it was okay to ignore the violent and aggressive behaviors because the child was "going through a lot".

What's The Deal With Sleep Regression?

2010-09-02T08:56:00.012-04:00

I noticed that every month around the time of his monthly birth date, the munchkin has a day or two of horrible sleep. HORRIBLE SLEEP. Two nights ago was one of those times. He woke up at 1am crying and refused to go back to bed until 4:30am. And going back to bed wasn't an easy task either. He didn't go down without a fight! So as I was sitting there trying to figure out what to do, tired, cranky, and frustrated, I decided to do some research on the subject. (The baby was in his bouncer playing with a toy, completely oblivious to the fact that this was NOT play time.)

I found out that many times when babies go through sleep regression, it's because they are about to hit a new developmental milestone. Reading about this definitely made me less cranky and more excited about what new things he'll soon be able to do! Here's a snippet from: Ask Moxie Q&A

"Your baby is going through enormous developmental spurts that you can't see, because they're dealing with cognitive processes. They work through these spurts the same way they work through the physical spurts, but when your baby is practicing recognizing patterns, you can't see that. Leading up to the actual new skill the baby is going to go through several weeks of intense brain work and prep that you can't necessarily see (unless you know specifically what to look for). One of the side effects of this brain work is that they don't sleep as well as they do during times in which they're not about to master a new skill. They may seem restless in the night (like they do sometimes when mastering a physical skill) but it's just nothing you can see and label. So we call it a sleep regression."

Aha! Now that makes sense! The article goes on to say that it usually happens at specifics weeks of age - weeks 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37, 46, and 55. Since the munchkin just turned 6 months (24 wks) I guess that explains it since a developmental spurt is coming on at 26 wks. I tell you, Thank God for the internet! This has definitely made me understand what's happening and feel less like my baby will forever have sleep problems. (Ya that's what I really thought for a second.) The article then talks about a great book called The Wonder Weeks by Dutch researchers Hetty Vanderijt and Frans Plooij. This book goes into greater detail about what's going on in our babies little brains the first year and a half of life. If your baby was born earlier than 40 weeks then he'll go through the milestones later. If your baby was born later than the 40 weeks, he'll go through them earlier. We're in the latter group. Baby was born 4 days late.

In any event, I plan on getting that book to keep around the house for those times that I'm frustrated with the little tyke because it'll ease my mind and help me to be more patient knowing that the fussiness is for a reason - a great reason! My munchkin is growing up! ::sniff::

H2O September Challenge Begins Tomorrow!

2010-08-31T21:55:00.009-04:00

So I've been feeling really sluggish lately, my skin has not been great, and my weight is not where I'd like it to be. I started examining my eating/drinking habits and realized - EUREKA - I do not drink enough water AT ALL. I mean, almost NONE. If I have a glass a day, that warrants a pat on the back.

I thought to myself, So what? Water can't be that important, right? WRONG. I did some research and found out these facts about good ol' H2O:

1) 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

2) Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

3) A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

4) Water leads to overall greater health by flushing out wastes and bacteria.

5) Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

6) Water helps to maintain healthy body weight by increasing metabolism and regulating appetite.

7) Water naturally moisturizes skin and ensures proper cellular formation underneath layers of skin to give it a healthy, glowing appearance.

So after learning about these water facts, I decided to start an H2O Challenge! Please feel free to join me out there in bloggy land. I'll be drinking 6 glasses of water a day for the 30 days of September. That's 180 glasses! I know, I know, you may be saying but I thought we have to drink 8-10 glasses? Well I'm going from 1 glass a day to 6 so I think that will be enough of a challenge for now. It'll be tough, but I'm looking forward to all of the benefits. Not only will it help increase my weight loss, but my skin will look better, I'll have more energy to take care of my 6 month old cutie pie, and I'll feel healthier as a whole. So I'm really excited! I even created a ticker for this challenge! Wish me luck!

Our Sears Photo Shoot (proofs)

2010-08-29T00:11:00.010-04:00

Our lovebug is 4 days shy of turning 6 months, so we thought that it was the perfect time to have our first family photo shoot! We had a great time. The baby was in a wonderful mood and was all smiles. (I was such a proud mama!) :)

I was surprised that he was so easily directed! All the photographer had to do was call his name and do a little baby talk and he was all gums!

The whole photo shoot was about an hour, and good thing too because he was completely spent after that. He whined for about 15 minutes until he fell asleep in my arms while we were picking out our favorite shots. There were a couple of pictures that I didn't like because of my own shortcomings, but once I saw how cute my son and hubby looked in all of them, I ignored the nonsense and just thanked God for such an amazing gift. What a great day!

Just a quick FYI - podcast coming soon!

2010-08-27T18:08:00.008-04:00

The other day, I was creating my bucket list. You know, the list of things I'd like to do before I kick the bucket. Well, one of the things I had on there was to one day create a podcast about marriage, parenthood, and life in general. I kept saying I really wanna start a podcast but would never get around to doing it. FINALLY my hubby gave me a little nudge in the rear end. (I needed it!) He told me that he believed in my vision and that I should get started. And I thought to myself, You know what? He's right! So...

ALERT THE PRESS - In the next couple of weeks, my podcast will be up and running. ::trumpets:: I'm in the process of recording some episodes, and once I have a few of them under my belt, I will be uploading them to iTunes and the rest will be history! So you heard it from the horse's mouth folks! (hmm.. I never really liked that saying, but anyway..) The "Love, Life, and a Baby" podcast will be up and running by the end of September!

Baby Food Revisited

2010-08-24T22:55:00.005-04:00

So I tried to make homemade baby food today and it didn't turn out as well as I thought it would. I tried to purée Pears. It was very time consuming and the Pears didn't purée as well as I wanted them to, so they were lumpy when I fed them to the baby. He liked it just the same, but I was nervous with all of the bits and pieces in it. I got some advice from the BabyCenter message boards, and now I won't be steaming the fruit in the microwave, I'll be baking them. It takes longer but they get completely mushy, and it's safer for the baby because I won't be microwaving plastic.

So the task for tomorrow: Pour 1-2 inches of water in a baking dish, cut Pears in half and put them middle side down, bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees, then purée in processor.

They're supposed to get really mushy and the baking will release all of the wonderful sweetness, yum! One good thing about Pears is that it has a wonderful effect on my little one's bowels! He was constipated for two days and having 2 ounces of Pear mush loosened everything right up! Nice!!

By the way, if anyone is interested in making homemade baby food, the best site out there is: http://wholesomebabyfood.com/ It not only gives you recipes, but tells you at what age it's safe for your baby to eat which foods. (For instance, around 6 months, the best first foods are Apples, Pears, Avocados, and Bananas) It also answers questions like how to preserve the food, how long it lasts, etc. Great resource!!

ETA: 8/25 - 2:00pm - My homemade Pears Baby Food came out perfect this time! The baking worked wonders! I cut the Pears in half, baked them in 2 inches of water, peeled and chopped them, then puréeed them for 10 seconds with 1/3 cup sterilized water. The results? Creamy, yummy, sweet, goodness! Baby loved them! The two pears I puréed ended up making 4 servings of baby food! (Each serving had about 2 ounces in it.) All in all, I'm glad I didn't give up cuz now that I know what to do, I'm gonna be a purée monster! lol Next week is avocados. Can't wait! They don't have to be steamed first, just very ripe. I'm looking forward to it!

Wow, a bloggy award! Thanks!

2010-08-24T15:46:00.007-04:00

So my Blogger/BabyCenter friend, Tricia, gave me a blog award! I feel so honored! Hehe! So now, I have to share seven things about myself and then I pass this award onto nine other bloggers. Er.. I don't have nine other bloggers to share it with I don't think but I'll figure something out. :)

1. I secretly (well not so secret anymore) want to train to run a 5k race. I've always admired marathon runners. The dedication and endurance is amazing! But the furthest I've ran is down the block to catch up to Mr. Softee. Ya I have my work cut out for me.

2. I just learned about Kettle Corn THIS YEAR. How could this gift from God stay hidden from me for so long?! Oh the blissful mix between salty and sweet! And this buttery delight is only 1 weight watchers point per cup! ::faints:: I'm actually typing with one hand right now because the other hand is stuck in a bowl of Kettle Corn - and I'm trying not to butter up the computer keys. (It's not working very well)

3. During my pregnancy, I developed stinky sweaty feet. Ridiculous! It was the wacky hormones, ugh! But the worse part is, the issue hasn't quite left the building yet hehe. It's already been almost 6 months post partum! Gee wiz! I'm always telling the hubby "Break out the foot soak!"

4. Sometimes I dream of Big Macs. This is another thing left over from the pregnancy. When I was pregnant, I had some serious cravings for beef. Beef was the hilight of my day. I ate a Big Mac 3x/week or so towards the end of my third trimester. And every so often I have dreams of little Big Macs dancing on my tongue. Yum yum! In real life I wouldn't dare eat it because it's 13 weight watcher points! Maybe I should somehow plan for it though because my mouth is watering just typing about it! ::wipes laptop down::

5. Okay only one more pregnancy reference. For some reason I have COMPLETELY forgotton the extent of pain that I was in for 30+ hours during labor. Many people say that God wipes the pain away from our memories so we'll do it again. And I'm really starting to believe that's true! A month after delivery, I told hubby that I wouldn't even think of having another kid for at least 5 years because of the pain, healing, etc. Well guess what? Last week I was bargaining with him about TTC (Trying to Conceive) in the next 2 yrs or so. I'd try again in a couple of months if we were financially stable! Crazy huh!

6. I love spas. I love facials, back massages, body wraps, saunas, foot rubs, manicures, pedicures, THE WORKS! I've actually contemplated opening up a spa of my own. After thinking about how much time, effort, and money that will entail, I decided that I'd rather save up $5,000 and create a Spa Room one day when we buy a house. Then I'd hire a massage therapist who would just come twice a week and work on me privately. I can't wait!

7. My hubby and I are thinking of creating our very own podcast about marriage, parenthood, and life in general. I think we both just LOVE to hear ourselves talk that this would be the perfect hobby for us to satisfy that craving. I'll keep everyone updated when we finally get things off the ground. :)

Okay so here are the blogs that I feel deserve this award. Check 'em out when you can!

Natalie
Rosie
Christina
Amber
Toni
RosesDaughter

Weight Watchers has called me back home!

2010-08-21T22:33:00.008-04:00

BabProject - Week 10 (I think) - So I skipped on writing two weeks worth of BabProject (Body After Baby Project) posts. Sorry! it was basically because I was down on myself for doing so poorly and not having anything positive to report. But now, I am on top of the world! I decided to re-join Weight Watchers, and that was the best decision ever. I was reluctant to do it before because of money issues, but the day I went online to join, there was a deal where registration was only $1. So I had to do it!

So far I'm doing really well. In two weeks, I've lost 5 lbs! That is awesome because I was at a stale mate for about a month since I stopped breastfeeding and wasn't really burning any extra calories. But for some reason, there is something about the weekly meetings that motivates me every time. I guess it's just the idea of getting weighed in and seeing in my little booklet the progress (or lack thereof) that drives me. And some may say "well maybe you'll end up not going all together to avoid weigh ins." For me, that's not an option because We're already on a tight budget, and we're paying $40/month for me to do this, so it's important that I use every last dime's worth by going each week.

Months before we conceived, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time, and lost about 15 lbs. Then I got pregnant, cancelled my membership, and quickly became a member of the "wacky cravings club". So back I go, to the wonderful home I call Weight Watchers. I can't wait to see how much weight I can lose this time around. My goal is to lose another 20 lbs by the new Year. That's 5 lbs per month. I already reached this month's goal of 5 lbs, hopefully I can keep it up. Eventually I want to get into working out again. I'm still so exhuasted for some reason - oh wait, I know why, it's called "my little munchkin gets my head spinning". So thinking of going on my stair master for even 15 minutes makes me yawn and want to curl up under the covers with a good book. We'll see what happens. I'm going to try to go as long as I can with just counting points LOL and around the time I start to get to a plateau, I'll pull out the big guns and start working out 3x/week. Hey, I'm being real with myself. No use making all these goals when I know that right now I don't have any intentions of keeping the exercise one. But the counting points I can do, and so far I've been doing that well! So exciting!

Ahh, the Joys of Baby Food!

2010-08-20T11:31:00.004-04:00

My little munchkin is almost 6 months old already! Whoa, where did the time go! He is so fun to be around now. He has a great personality and will get people's attention in the elevator, at the park, anywhere you can think of! Ya, he can be a pain in the patoot sometimes, but then he'll give this adorable gummy grin and I melt all over again!

And what's even more fun - He began solid baby food! He's been having rice cereal mixed with formula for about 6 weeks now, but last week we tried some apple sauce and BOY DID HE LOVE IT. We made sure to get the Mott's natural organic no sugar added brand, and started him off with a tablespoon. Well this little foodie began crying when the applesauce was done so we had to give him more hehe. (Just like his mama!)

The doc said that we can introduce one new baby food each week. So next week I decided to make my own Pear baby food. We got a baby food processer as a baby shower gift so I figure why not try to put it to good use. This is the recipe I found:

Homemade Pear Mash

Ingredients:
1 ripe pear
Rice Cereal (optional)

1. Peel and de-seed a fully ripened pear
2. Cut into chunks
3. Steam pear chunks on the stove or use ziploc microwave steamer bags for 3-5 min.
4. Puree pear chunks
5. Add rice cereal (if desired) to thicken up.
6. Serve at room temperature
7. Freeze leftovers in ice-tray (if making a big batch)

I can't wait to try it! I will definitely be using the ziploc baggies to steam the pears because I do not trust myself trying to figure out whether they are steamed enough or burnt. I hear that its pretty easy to make your own baby food because as long as you can steam them properly and puree them down to mush, you can feed your baby any of the stage 1 foods. So this is the order of how I plan on introducing foods:

Week 1 - Applesauce (complete!)
Week 2 - Pears
Week 3 - Avocado
Week 4 - Bananas
Week 5 - Carrots
Week 6 - Sweet Potatoes

I'll blog about our progress, and will put up some baby food eating pics! That should be interesting LOL

So I fell back on my diet but a new plan arises!

2010-08-02T11:38:00.006-04:00

BABProject - Week 7 - So I skipped a blog entry for BABProject last week. I guess I was really busy between taking care of baby and my internship. But truth be told, it probably was because I had such a huge set back with my diet that I was too depressed to even write about it. I actually gained all the weight back that I lost 2 weeks ago. It's very discouraging! It takes less than half the time to gain weight than it does to lose it. Part of it is that Aunt Flow is rearing her ugly head once again so I'm sure it's water weight and all that jazz. But it's still annoying to see that number on the scale.

The good news is, I've decided to go back to a macrobiotic way of eating. Macrobiotics "from "macro" (large) and "bios" (life), is a dietary regimen that involves eating grains as a staple food supplemented with other foodstuffs such as vegetables and beans, and avoiding the use of highly processed or refined foods." It's a Japanese inspired way of eating. My hubby and I started eating this way while trying to conceive last year and lost 10 lbs each, as well as had a lot of energy, and ended up making a baby so I guess it works! I am re-reading this book "The Hip-Chick's Guide to Macrobiotics" and it talks about how eating a balanced diet of yin and yang foods will make you feel better physically and emotionally, as well as allow your body to drop weight naturally. The author,Jessica Porter, lost 50 lbs without starving herself. She just changed what she ate, as well as the combination of things she ate. To learn more about Macro eating, click on: Macrobiotics.

So my new goal for this week is:

Drink 6-8 glasses of water per day
Get back into Macro eating
Exercise 3 times
Lose 2 lbs

My reward will be to get the new makeup that I've been wanting for weeks! :)

Twitter lingo says it best - major #diet #fail

2010-07-19T09:36:00.004-04:00

BABProject - Week 5 - I seem to be on a rollercoaster ride when it comes to my eating. I had an amazing week the week before last. I lost 4 lbs and was feeling great. Last week, I fell off the bandwagon. My emotional eating got the best of me. When we stress over finances, or future plans to move into a bigger place, I tend to grab naughty snacks to indulge in. Ya, ya, ya, I know about the stocking up the cupboard with healthy stuff but it's more than just reaching to the closest thing near me.

If I'm really feeling crummy, I'll go out of my way to drive over to the nearest burger king for a whopper jr. It doesn't help that my hubby is right along w/ me. Friday night he begged for me to get him some KFC. I was proud of myself for not getting anything for myself, but guess who was picking at his food over his shoulder? I ate the biscuit, half of a fried chicken breast, and half of the box of potato wedges. What the! And it happened so gradually that I didn't even realize what I was doing til it was too late!

And the rest of the weekend unfolded pretty much the same. All I can do is start things up again and hopefully pick up where I left off two weeks ago. Here's some NEW motivation for me: On August 7th, my girlfriends wanna go to Splish Splash, which is a water park in NY. Talk about fear out of my mind! Who wants to be walking around in bright sunshine with a roley poley belly all over the place?? NOT ME! So I would love to at least lose 6 lbs in the next three weeks. That may not be much but it'll do wonders for my self-esteem that day. That, plus a great black bathing suit with shorts that cover the badunkadunk and I'll be set!

Since I didn't reach my goal last week, I don't get the new make up (sob!) But this weeks goals are:

1) Exercise 4 times
2) Eat well
3) Lose 2 lbs

Reward: New Makeup! (I really need it!)

Lesson Learned: When he's ready, he's ready

2010-07-16T12:10:00.002-04:00

My munchkin is so fun to be around! I would have to say that month 4 is the funnest month of being a mommy. Of course, I've heard time and time again that it gets better and better every month, so I can't wait to see what's in store. He sleeps longer at night, he's awake longer during the day, he plays, he's starting to roll, he laughs, he babbles, and is such a little character. It's funny because just 3 weeks ago, he was waking up countless times during the night, wanting to stay up and play. And I was really getting exhausted and frustrated. I tried so many things: schedules, feeding techniques, swaddling, no swaddling, binky, no binky, cereal in bottle, cereal by spoon, no cereal at all.. you name it - I tried it. And no matter what I did, baby still woke up throughout the night, time and time again.

But guess what? Right when I resigned myself to the fact that I would have luggage underneath my eyes for the rest of my life, he turned 4 months old. And he has been sleeping 9 hours a night every since. Crazy! It had nothing to do with what I was trying. And it definitely was a great lesson. We can't control our children. Even now, they depend so much on us to live, yet they are their own little beings with likes, dislikes, attitudes, sleep patterns, etc. All we can do is guide them in the right direction, and hope it sticks.

That is one piece of info I would definitely pass on to other new mommies. Every baby is different and what works for one may not work at all for another. The milestones they reach are completely up to them. This mama won't question it - just enjoy it. Sleep! Thank God for sleep! And thank God for my lovely little family! :)

Two steps forward, One step back

2010-07-16T11:47:00.003-04:00

Boo! I weighed myself today and gained 2 lbs back from the 4 lbs I lost last week. I don't get it. I'm doing the same thing as last week! This time I've increased the working out to 4 times, and still stay within my calorie range. Okay wait.. the only thing I can think of is that I haven't been drinking as much water as I did last week. Also, even though I am staying within the appropriate calorie range, more of the calories this week are carbs, than last week. ... ok so maybe this week isn't exactly the same. But still!

It stinks that my body seems to react so viciously to carbs. God forbid I have mashed potatoes with my chicken instead of string beans and salad.. forget it, my body goes bonkers. This week I figured that I would keep under 1700 calories, but see if I could incorporate more of the food that I actually like. Sadly, the experiment didn't quite work. I really don't know how this will be a long term lifestyle then. Because I can't swear off completely from having an occasional potato, slice of bread, or even pasta. Will all of my hard work always get sabotaged unless I forever eat leaves and twigs??

I choose to believe that because I'm increasing my exercise, I'm gaining muscle. Whether I'm delusional or not, that has yet to be determined. For the rest of the week I'm going to go back to drinking 6 glasses of water a day, and hopefully by my Monday morning weigh in, the scale will be kinder. *fingers crossed*

Diet Success!

2010-07-12T11:54:00.005-04:00

BABproject Week 4 - I had a great weight loss week last week! Finally! I worked out 3 times - 30 minutes each time. I also decreased the empty carbs I had been eating, and stayed within an appropriate calorie range. The result? I lost 4 lbs!

This really has motivated me to keep on going, and makes me feel that my weight loss goals are reachable. I have no idea what clicked this week LOL But being a part of the the BABproject definitely helped because the gals have been really encouraging on twitter. I also did NOT want to have another sob story post on here about how I didn't reach my goal. Phew!! I also think the exercising, as well as the low carb kicked things into gear.

Now I can get myself a pedicure! (Thank God cuz if you got a good look at these little piggies o' mine, you'd get me a pedicure even if I gained this week hehe)

This week's goals:

1) Continue with the low carb, 1600-1700 cal eating plan
2) Increase my exercise to 4 times this week

Reward: I can purchase a new make-up item (woo hoo!)

Family - Not what it's cracked up to be..

2010-07-09T10:31:00.007-04:00

What is it about a new baby that makes grandparents (and yes even great grandparents) go completely insane? It's been a rough couple of days because my mother and I have not been talking due to excessive meddling from her and my grandmother. It doesn't help that they babysit my son 3 times a week so I can finish up the internship weeks that I missed during maternity leave and finally get my degree mailed to me.

The major argument was that the pediatrician said that the baby should be eating every 4 hours because he is a little overweight, and he needs to learn how to be able to eat at appropriate times. He's 4 months right now, so this is the time when it's important to start helping him have a more normal eating/sleeping pattern. Well, I've explained this to my mom and grandmother a number of times and they continue to belittle this and say that they've raised kids for years and pediatricians don't know everything.

So they proceed to feed him at their own schedule (which is pretty much as soon as the poor kid starts crying), as opposed to respecting what my husband and I have requested. I've tried to ask nicely, I've tried to send articles to my mom about grandparents having to respect boundaries, but to be honest, earlier this week I was at my wits end. I came back from my internship to find my grandmother feeding the baby about an hour and a half sooner than was necessary. I just blew up. It didn't help that I had about 3.5 hours of sleep that night since the little tyke still doesn't sleep through the night. Needless to say, I became the bad guy, and everyone pretty much came against me (including my brother which pissed me off, but that's a whole other story) saying that I shouldn't have yelled at them, I was out of line, etc.

My husband, trying to make things better, called my mom that night and tried to calmly ask her to please respect our guidelines for the baby and that we love them and know they love our son, but it's important that they realize that we are the authority figures when it comes to him. Well my mom was NOT having that. Considering our family is filled with a plethora of strong-willed women and spineless men, she was not used to a man sticking up for himself. She then told my husband that she did not care about watching our son, she was just doing it as a favor (which is not totally true), what does he know because he runs away whenever the baby cries (which is also not true.. not anymore anyways), and that she didn't care what he or I said, if the baby was under her roof, he would be taken care of the way she deemed fit. Wha?! I'm so proud of my husband for not letting her have it because I would have, but he wanted to be respectful (though he was seething inside).

The problem is, the situation goes deeper than a feeding schedule. It's about the lack of respect that we get from our family. I'm 28 and my husband will be 30 in a couple of months, yet we're treated like children. Always. Everytime I ask them to do, or not to do something in regards to my son, they scoff at it, saying that they know how to take care of babies, and that whatever I'm asking is silly. We've had arguments over when to start solid foods (They were trying to force me to feed the baby rice cereal at 8 weeks old!) We've had arguments over when to allow him to drink water, etc. By the way, just to let you know what I'm up against, my grandmother once refused to EVER watch our son again unless we followed her rules of feeding him cereal. So that's the craziness that's happening over there. Yup.

Anyway, it's been this constant back and forth, struggle, and it just came to a head. Though I miss talking to my mom, this had to be nipped in the bud. My husband brought up a great point to her. What happens when the baby is now 5 years old and we tell him that he's not allowed to eat candy, or watch something on TV because he misbehaved, but when he goes to grandma's he's allowed to do what he wants? That's undermining to us, and confusing to the kid.

Not to mention that for the past couple of months, I've gotten very little more than discouragement from them all. If it's not a snarky remark about my weight, it's a comment about how my house is not clean enough for a baby, or how I'm not bathing him enough (despite doctor's orders of only 2x/week due to bad eczema). It goes on and on. Why not have a little grace? Why not show some understanding that I'm a first time mom who still gets less than 5 hours a sleep every night, who busted my butt to finish up graduate school, who now is looking for a full time job to help support our family, I mean c'mon!

For once I would love to hear "Hey, you're doing an amazing job." I don't even remember the last time I heard that. Except from my husband and my friends. And speaking of friends, the scripture is sooo spot on that says, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24) I have had more encouragement from friends (some friends that I have not even met in person, can you believe it??) than I have from my own family. Yes my family helps out with babysitting, yes my mom helps out financially when we're in a bind, but many times going over to their house is emotionally draining.

I wish I could express that to them, without being yelled at for being "silly" or "overly sensitive". At this point, all I can do is focus on God, my NEW family (me, hubby, and baby) and enjoy all that life has in store for us. I've been mulling over this family issue for the past two days now, and it really has done nothing more than give me indigestion. I have to remember, the bible says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:27) Worrying about this family issue will not change the situation. I can work on myself, and eventually apologize for shouting at them, and what they do in return is up to them. I have Jesus, and I have tons of other people in my life that lift me up instead of tear me down. And I thank the Lord for that, big time!

Oh, What a Mixed Bag of Nuts am I!

2010-07-05T11:28:00.012-04:00

Sometimes my head feels like a mixed bag of nuts. Being a new mom has been incredibly wonderful/emotional/scary/exciting and my opinions about my life change depending on what day or time you ask me. My son is 4 months old now and time seems to be flying by! (Note to baby: Don't grow so fast please!)

Over the past couple of months, I became a new mom, my husband lost his job, he then found a new job, I graduated with a Master's of Science in Mental Health Counseling, and as of now I'm trying to figure out where I fit in the grand scheme of things. I was hoping to stay at home with the bambino until he was at least a year old but God has a different plan, it seems. My husband earns enough for us to survive (barely) where we're at, but doesn't afford us to do the things we've been hoping for such as move to another apartment in a quieter, safer neighborhood for our son, and start to save up for our dream home.

So I've been having mixed feelings. I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. If I choose not to work until the baby turns 1, we'll have to re-sign the lease and our goal of having a better life for him would be squashed. (Did I mention that we only have one bedroom? So by that time he'll be a toddler , and a toddler sleeping in our room will. be. chaos.) But if I choose to get a full time job at the end of the summer so we can have two incomes and start working towards our plans, then I feel like I'll miss out on some major milestones that my pumpkin will go through.

I have this fear that I'm going to hear from my mom or a day care worker that baby said his first word. Or took his first step. But where was mama? Out in the rat race unfortunately. I mean, I always knew that I'd eventually go back to work because I worked so hard for my Degrees and really want to help people with emotional difficulties. I even want to own my own practice one day. So yes, there are a number of things that are a part of my life goals that I would love to fulfill - but one little 16 pound chunky monkey has me all sorts of confused.

I try not to speak with my husband too much about it because he ends up feeling bad that he can't be the "ideal breadwinner" that he thinks he's supposed to be. But the fact is, this isn't the 1950s. We live in NY, the economy sucks, and we're both 20 somethings just trying to live and love life to the best of our ability. I mean, we're in this together so I don't feel any resentment towards him at all. I just wish that maybe we lived in a different state, where rent wasn't $1200/month minus utilities. Ahh well.

I think I know what I have to do, but it still makes me sad at times. I'm sure I'll feel differently once we're more comfortable financially and I'm decorating our new place and moving all of baby's toys into his very own room. But for now I'm going to continue being a mixed bag of nuts and enjoy every last moment being a stay at home mom. It's amazing how time can be your best friend and your worst enemy, all at once. Go figure.

It feels like Groundhog's Day.

2010-07-05T10:02:00.003-04:00

BABproject - Week 3 - Remember that movie Groundhog's day? Remember how the main character kept waking up and doing the same things over and over again? OMG. That's me. I had major intentions to workout last week but guess who came to town for the first time since before I got preggers? AUNT FLOW. I hadn't seen the wench for over a year and I did not miss her one bit. But alas, she showed up less than two weeks after I stopped nursing. Bah.

In any event, when Aunt Flow is around, especially this being the first time she came in a long time, I did not have any motivation to move when I felt so bloated. so crampy. so icky. So exercise was a big fat zero last week.

But I did pretty well with my eating. As a matter of fact, around Friday I weighed myself and was actually down 2 lbs! But hold your applause everyone. Yesterday, July 4th, I made probably 2 bad food choices and this morning I weighed the same as last week. Talk about discouraging! I did a full week of eating great and one day where I decided to have two buttermilk biscuits and a regular coke, it all came creeping back.

I'm thinking that I may need to start a low carb type of eating plan because when I eat any bad carb, even in the littlest increment, it sticks to me. But in the past when I stuck to eating good carbs like veggies, along with poultry, fish, and a little fruit, weight came off quicker... The only problem was, yet again, if decided to have a treat like a small piece of cake, there goes the scale dial again. Gee wiz!

In any event, I'm glad Aunt Flow has left town so I feel more energetic and will try AGAIN. New goals though:

Goal #1 - Stick to a low carb type of diet plan for one week.

Goal #2 - Take a multivitamin and green tea capsule each day for one week. (I need the energy!)

Yup, that's right, if I finally reach my goals this week, I'll get a pedicure. My feet need it bad! This is why I put a reward for such a small amount of time (in case anyone was wondering) because it's so hard for me to reach even that! LOL Ahh well! Here's to another week of trying! At least I'm still motivated to try! Thanks BABproject!! :)

Birthday Fun and Back on Track! (week 2-BABproject)

2010-06-28T11:33:00.007-04:00

Today is my 28th birthday! I did a ton of celebrating this weekend... which included some unhealthy food choices. I also was doing some emotional eating earlier in the week so my first week in the BABproject wasn't so successful. But the good news is, I'm back on track and have resolved to be in a MUCH healthier state this time next year. It kinda feels good to start things off on my birthday. It's like turning over a new leaf!

Yesterday I stayed within my calorie limit and I also did 30 minutes on my Cardio Twister. I plan on doing the same today. I'm hoping to do some form of exercise for 30 minutes, 5x/wk. But since I didn't reach my goal last week, it remains the same:

GOAL #1 -If i can stick to my calorie limit for a whole week, I get a pedicure! Woo hoo!

Conclusion: No change in stats this week, BUT I am a lot more optimistic that by next week I'll reach my goal AND lose a pound or two. :)

I'm a part of the BAB Project!

2010-06-21T11:23:00.010-04:00

Hey! I came across this blog: Hope Springs Eternal where this lovely woman put together something called the BAB Project which is the Body After Baby Project. It's a way for mothers to keep each other motivated and accountable with losing weight after having a baby. I'm so excited because I really need the motivation. The first bunch of weight fell off like butter, but I have about 15-20 lbs that is extremly stubborn. Plus, as many of you moms out there know, taking care of a baby all day is exhausting!! After taking care of my son, cleaning up a bit, and making dinner for my family, I'm about ready to drop into a puddle at the end of the day!

But now that I've found the BAB Project, I think I'll be more likely to make an effort to get healthy! We have to post our progress every Monday, so I at least will have motivation to reach even small goals by the end of the week so I can post by Monday.

I was reluctant to do this, but here is my current picture (which is my BEFORE):

That photo is very depressing! But I'm motivated to make a change. My next photo will be updated in one month.

This week's small goal is to stick to 1800 calories per day. If I can do that for the next 7 days, my reward will be to get a pedicure! I also will be working out also, but I don't want to add that to my first small goal because if I put too much on myself, I usually don't stick to it, then I feel bad about myself and have pizza and brownies! (Big no no!) So it will be small goals that I will add on to as I progress. Here's to gettin thin by the end of the summer! Woo hoo!

Are there any REAL Work From Home positions out there?!

2010-05-13T17:44:00.006-04:00

My little pumpkin is 10 weeks old and things are finally starting to normalize. Praise God! We have a pretty good schedule going. He wakes up at 5am, he gets fed, then goes back to bed for another 2 hrs (which makes mommy happy). Then we start our day with a ton of mini naps, play time, and mommy trying to clean, cook, and do research for my internship. By 10pm, he has his last feeding, and is put to bed. Don't wanna jinx myself but he's been sleeping through the night, woo hoo! Every once in awhile he gets up at 2am, but for the past 2 weeks, he's mostly been sleeping from 10pm-5am.

Though the past two months have been wonderful because of the munchkin, it's been extra stressful as well. My hubby lost his job 6 weeks ago and we've been barely surviving ever since. He's gone on 4 or 5 interviews and hasen't gotten any of them. It's really starting to bum us out. And the thing is, I would definitely be out working myself if it wasn't for the fact that I have to finish up my internship hours by August to officially get my degree. So I'm kinda stuck.

This is what led me to try to do research on reputable "work from home" jobs. I know I know, everyone says that it's impossible to find a real work from home job. But I've been doing research and this is what I found out from ppl who are doing it themselves:

1) www.workplacelikehome.com - It's a forum where ppl come online and talk about what jobs they've tried, what worked, and what were scams.

2) www.liveops.com - hires salespeople and licensed agents for both health and life insurance.

3) www.arise.com - recruits agents with specialized language skills.

4) dsa.org - offers a list of 200 companies that offer "direct seller" jobs, kinda like Avon or Pampered Chef.

The one I'm currently pursuing is www.chacha.com It's a service where you can text "chacha" which is 242242 and ask any question you can think of and they send you an answer in 3 minutes or less. Apparently the ppl who are answering you are ppl sittin at home in their undies searching the net for you LOL So I took two tests and I'm waiting for an answer on whether I can be one of the "underwear answering ppl" :) You have to be really good with internet searching and fast typing skills. And you get $.20 per question. They say if you do a question every 3 minutes, you make about $6/hr. If I could do that for 3 hrs a day, 6 days a week, that would be a nice little chunk of change to pay a bill or two. We shall see!!

Baby Weight Be Gone!

2010-04-17T18:21:00.005-04:00

It's taken me six weeks to finally get a chance to write a new blog post. Being a mommy is hard work! I definitely have had it rough between sleepless nights, no time to myself, or alone time with my hubby. And even getting a chance to take a shower is a luxury. But with all the overwhelming craziness, it's still the best job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything else!

And finally, at six weeks old, my little munchkin is starting to sleep longer which gives me more time to do things for myself...such as blog! :) So today's blog will be about my BABY WEIGHT.. ahh!!! I gained 30 lbs during my pregnancy and thankfully, due to breastfeeding,I lost 20 of them in the first 4 weeks. But now, I have the stubborn last 10 lbs that will not budge. It's probably because I've kept some of my naughty pregnancy eating habits, and that can only lead to disaster. I already felt like losing weight prior to getting pregnant so I actually want to lose about 20 lbs at this point. SO I decided to start THE SOUTH BEACH DIET tomorrow! Woo hoo! I usually am a Weight Watchers kinda gal but when I want to lose a bunch of weight, I have to do more of a restrictive type of diet first, then switch over to something that will help me maintain it.

So since carbs are my biggest obsession, I figure it's best to try to go cold turkey to release the hold it has on my life! For two weeks I'll be in PHASE ONE which is the strictest part of the diet. I'll be able to have beef, turkey, chicken, fish, tofu, eggs, low fat cheese, and all the veggies I want. I will NOT be able to have sugar at all (not even fruit b/c of the sugar in them), and no bad carbs such as white bread, pasta, or even potatoes! Yikes! I'll update my blog with my results but I'm sure I'll be a cranky little monster by day 3.

I just want to make sure that I do it in a healthy way because I'm still breastfeeding and I don't want it to affect my milk production. So I'll be drinking tons of water, and eating six times a day... just healthy food instead of my usual coke and hoagie meal plan. Is it bad that I feel like today is my last day of sanity so I'm shoveling food into my pie hole as I type? I have been eating like a bear going into hibernation. It's really quite sad, but I figure I want to get my fill of tasty treats before I say goodbye. *cut to Boyz II Men song* - "It's so haaarrdd, to say goodbyyeee, to yesterdaayyyyyyy.. oooooh!!" God help me...

Michael Aaron Jr. - Here at last! (Part II)

2010-03-09T09:42:00.006-05:00

Here's the conclusion of my birth story!!

5 am Monday morning (Mar. 1)- I had now been in labor for 23 hours... and I was spent. I mean I was seriously at the point where I couldn't talk through contractions, and in between contractions I just wanted to sit still and focus. That's when we knew I was in active labor. So off to the hospital we went! Btw, the ride there was horrendous... every bump made my cervix and uterus angry lol And they made sure I knew it!

6 am - I was checked and was 4 centimeters dilated. Now everyone in that room seemed to be excited... EXCEPT FOR ME. All I kept thinking was that I was in labor for this long already and still only 4 centimeters?! I was expecting 8 by this time and with this intensity of pain! Oh but wait... the pain got worse.

7am - 3 pm - This was the highest level of pain I have ever been through in my life. At this point I was completely confused. I didn't know what time it was, who's voices I was hearing, I mean I was completely in the zone. My L&D room was dark, and there was Christian music playing on the boom box in the background... the songs I had chosen weeks earlier to help me through this experience. Every so often I would hear nurses come in and say how impressed they were with me and how they couldn't do it, etc. etc. My hubs kept with the positive affirmations and our doula gave us direction with walking the hospital halls, sqautting to bring the baby down into the birth canal, and telling me that I could do it everytime I cried and said I couldn't. (I tell ya, hiring a doula was really the best thing we did since we were so gung ho about having a natural child birth! I just know that I would have given up after like 4 hours if she wasn't there.)

I just realized that I have been saying that I was in labor for 29 hours, but now that I'm re-counting, It was more like 33 or more! I experienced 33 hours medication free.. and the rest - well let me explain: Well ladies and gents... around 3 pm, I was checked again and was ready to hear that I was 10 centimeters and ready to push... what did the doc tell me? 6 centimeters... $%&%&#$!!! At that point I broke down and cried in front of the doc, the nurses, everyone. I tell you hearing that number really broke me down. I totally would have been able to have a FULLY natural child birth if labor ended at like, I don't know, say hour 20... but 30+ hours later my body (and sadly my mind) had completely given up.

4 pm - It was at this faithful hour that I turned to my hubs and said our code word for pain meds - PEANUT BUTTER. As soon as he heard it, he ran like crazy to get the nurses... and a short time after that the epidural was administered.

Initially I was a little heartbroken about my decision. Though I was now pain free, I cried and kept asking my hubby and our doula whether they were disappointed in me. Of course they said that they were super proud of me and that I was like a serious warrior for enduring all that I had. After I did a little grieving for the birth story I was hoping for, I focused on having a healthy baby and avoiding the main concern which was a C-section.

6pm - I dilated from 6 cm to 10 cm and was ready to push! Hip Hip Hurray! Our nurse's shift was over but she had gotten so attached to us and our story that she stayed on for the extra time to be present when Mikey came into this world.

The pushing was nuts! The pressure was serious, and my epi was wearing off so I actually started to feel the contractions again! But that was okay because with pushing, I had a purpose, and I was ready to meet our little guy FINALLY! At 6:53pm Michael Aaron Jr. was born! At the final push, he came flying out (according to my hubby hehe, projectile baby!) and he came out crying! When they placed him on my belly, it was the most amazing thing that I have ever experienced in my life. All the pain was washed away, everything I endured was totally worth it when I looked into his cute face. I was bawling and so was my hubby. It was truly a miracle!

Now I'm sitting here and looking over at my little one.. completely and utterly in love. Ya he doesn't do much as of yet - eat, sleep, poop, and cry - but in just a week, he has brought so much joy into our lives. Joy that we had no clue about before his arrival. Staring into his face, it brings to mind the verse that I would say to myself throughout the pregnancy: 2 Corinthians 9:15 "Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" God is sooo good and we are so blessed to have Mikey in our lives! We love him dearly and couldn't ask for anything more!

Michael Aaron Jr. - Here at last! (Part I)

2010-03-09T08:15:00.012-05:00

Our little one is finally here! He's such a cutie pie and we're so blessed to have him! As I'm writing, he's taking a nap in his crib, so I figured I'd write my birth story (plus my buddy Tricia wrote hers last night so that got me motivated!)

So here goes... Well Saturday evening (Feb. 27) the hubby and I went out to dinner, and all was well. I was starting to feel some twinges but my hubs didn't believe me since I had been saying that for the past week or more! I was already 40 weeks 1 day and getting seriously impatient with still being preggers! We then went to visit my mom and she took one look at me and said "oh the baby's coming!" I was like "how do you know ma?!" She said that she just knew from looking at me and the shape of my belly. Well that was exciting but I didn't' really put too much stock into that since I officially felt that I would be pregnant forever.

12 am Sunday (Feb. 28)- I lost my mucus plug in the toilet bowl (sorry TMI but this is a birth story after all so expect some craziness!) As soon as I saw it, I freaked! I mean full blown panic. I ran to my hubs and said "I'm not ready! I'm not ready!" and he just looked at me and smiled. He reassured me that I was ready and that we had been waiting fore this for so long. He then was all over the apartment excited, getting things together, cheering, doing peter pan leaps (sorry babe I had to say it) and made me feel happy and excited again about what we were about to experience.

6am - I was starting to have contractions every 10 minutes but they were totally manageable. I remember thinking "Oh that's what they feel like!" I called my mom to tell her the good news, notified my doula to get ready, and tried to take naps in between moments of pain. But again, they were totally manageable with deep breathing and focus.

10:30 am - Contractions were all over the place. Sometimes 8 minutes apart, sometimes 10 minutes apart, sometimes 15 minutes, and so on and so on for many hours.

3:00 pm - The contractions were getting stronger, but still not closer together. So the hubby and I took a walk around the neighborhood. I tell ya, it was definitely a weird feeling stopping every 8 minutes and leaning on him, all the while moaning and little old ladies and children passed me by with stunned looks on their faces. It took a lot of self control not to shout "Haven't you seen a woman in labor before you big dorks?!"

9:45 pm - Yup, you guessed it. Still in labor. But now the contractions were FINALLY 5 minutes apart and we called our doula, Shanon, to come over. Contractions still manageable but definitely a huge difference in intensity from the morning. So I started sitting and leaning on my birth ball, and the hubby massaged my back, put hot compresses all over me, and continued to encourage me. What a great support he was! (I'm totally proud of how he handled everything! If he was nervous, he never let me know it, which I'm very grateful for!)

After this point, all I can say is God was definitely with me because labor continued for many many MANY more hours. Our doula would help me breath and moan through the contractions, she rubbed my feet, my hubby would rub my back, we took walks, we went up and down the stairs (ya at that point I wanted to sock my doula in the head for having me do that during some seriously challenging contractions but they helped to get the contractions closer together which is what we wanted) Our doula helped me do visualizations of my bubble of peace to stay positive. I laughed, I cried, I ate, I moaned, yes, I even slept for minutes at a time. But it continued.. and continued...

Okay that's it for now! Mikey is starting to wake up and it's time for nursing! Stay tuned for Part II and click HERE when you're ready!!

Bah Humbug to Obstetricians!

2010-02-16T09:02:00.004-05:00

So I had another Doctor's appointment yesterday and I tell you, it's amazing how one visit with an overzealous OB can knock down what took you weeks, or maybe even months to build up. What am I griping about? It's the idea that many OBs just aren't Natural Childbirth (NCB) friendly. It's so amazing that in this day and age we have to fight for something that has gone on since the beginning of time... naturally!

Why am I so cranky? Well...

1) I am not dilated at all yet, despite being halfway through my 38th week of pregnancy. But after speaking to my Doula, now I'm annoyed with myself because if the average baby stays in until 40 weeks, so what if I'm not dilated yet? Thank you Doula Shanon for knocking my head back into place! The baby's head is very low, and my cervix is soft, so in actuality I AM making progress and I need to stop fretting.

2) My OB said he was concerned that I gained 7 lbs this week instead of the average 2-3 lbs so he scheduled me for a sonogram next week to make sure my baby isn't becoming a "Maury Baby". You know what the "Maury Baby" is.. it's the 100 lb baby that gets fed pizzas and spaghetti for breakfast. In any event, all that did was put a little fear in the back of my head that I might have a massive baby shooting out of my crotch, which did not fair well for me or my "bubble of peace" that my Doula keeps trying to help me stay in.

3) My OB seems to have changed a bit... or maybe he's just showing his true colors. Initially when i first "hired" him (which is what it really boils down to) he swore up and down that he respected my wishes for a NCB and was all gung ho about it - in the beginning. But recently, he's been doing a lot of epidural and induction talk which is very off-putting! At every visit he throws in the "and don't feel as if you have to be a hero.. you can get the epidural and go from excruciating pain to reading a magazine in minutes!" Ya doc, not to mention the 4 inch needle in my spine, the lack of mobility, the constant fetal monitoring, the catheter in my bladder... shall i go on? That is just SOME of what occurs right alongside the epidural, but NO of course he won't mention those little juicy tidbits of information.

So with all of that, I came out of my appointment nearly in tears because I felt that A) I'm going to be pregnant forever and B) My doctor isn't supporting me. And that is NOT how you should feel when you're days away from delivering your baby. But after speaking to my hubby (who is sooo amazing with how supportive he is) and after speaking to Doula Shanon, I now feel that I am back on track. And all my OB did is give me more gumption to have my NCB and be extra smug about it to him afterwards, tee hee.

The one thing I'm certain of is that if we're blessed with another baby, I will be searching for a great MIDWIFE, and OBs will not be in my field of vision at all. Do you know that you could have a Midwife patient in one room and an Obstetrician patient in the very next room, but they both are given totally different "rules" of laboring? Most Midwives will allow you to have clear fluids such as water, or chicken broth, during labor. Guess what Obstetricians allow you to have? Ice chips... That's right, ice chips. What's the difference between the Midwife patient and the OB patient? They are both in the same hospital. Both could be low risk pregnancies. The difference is the mentality that OBs have of wanting to control everything, bill insurance for as much as possible, and make it "easy" for themselves and their staff. Ugh.. don't get me started!! I've learned so much during this pregnancy. I've gone from being 8 weeks and saying that I would be making a bee-line to the anaesthesiologist at delivery, to now at 38 weeks wanting to avoid the anaesthesiologist like the plague! In any event, I now feel as if I have regained control and am looking forward to meeting my little pumpkin! Even if he IS a hefty sized pumpkin. :)

My Poor Swollen Feet!

2010-02-09T11:16:00.003-05:00

I am now 37 weeks and 4 days and I FINALLY have experienced the dreaded swollen feet! I totally thought that I was on the road to going through the whole pregnancy without it. Besides early first trimester drama, this pregnancy has been pretty smooth sailing. Once I hit the second trimester, I really felt great! No heartburn, nothing swollen, and I gained weight mostly in my belly as opposed to every place else! But alas, my feet... my poor swollen feet!

It's like it happened exactly when I hit 37 weeks. I have no idea why or how but one evening, while watching TV with my hubby, I looked down at my feet and they looked like Fred Flinstone's! What the! I was in shock! My hubby looked down at them and just shook his head lol I immediately elevated them and drank water. The next morning they were back to normal, however, every evening they seem to balloon up. I read that it's common for feet to get swollen towards the end of pregnancy, and especially in the evening. So as long as I keep them elevated and keep drinking water to eliminate the water weight, I should be fine. They're very uncomfortable though when they get like that! I feel like I'm walking on bricks!

Other than that, I'm just sitting here, playing the waiting game. As nervous as I am about labor and delivery, I'm really ready to meet our little guy and move on to the next stage: actually being parents! I wonder what he'll look like. Will he look more like me? More like my husband? What type of temperament will he have? So many questions!! It really is amazing. Just think - this time next month I'll be a mommy! :) And I'll be posting baby pics! This truly has been an amazing journey. I learned so much and am so glad I have tons of supportive people around me.

OH, and last week was our last Bradley Method birthing class. The series was really great, I highly recommend it to those who are interested in natural childbirth and want as much information as possible. There are a lot of things that we are unaware of in terms of hospital protocol when delivering babies so it was great to learn all of that so we could make educated, informed decisions about the birth. We learned all about the stages of labor, pain management, pros and cons of medications, C-section, and breastfeeding. We saw tons of videos of actual births which I think was great preparation. Most importantly, the class left me feeling like I CAN BIRTH NATURALLY. There was empowerment there. When I first started the class I was so unsure of myself and scared but now I know what to expect, and I know that I'm strong and brave! God will see us through it. :) I'll try to write another post next week but I'm hoping that the next time I write I'll be a mommy!!! Yay!

The Baby Shower!

2010-01-27T11:39:00.007-05:00

We had the baby shower this past weekend! It was soo amazing. We had a great time with friends and family, we had great music, games, food, and gifts galore! We definitely were blessed so much and we're so happy. :) Here are some pictures of the shower:

Now I'm focusing on sorting everything out and getting ready for delivery day! I must say, I'm still nervous about labor and delivery! I keep telling myself that I should start packing the hospital bag... but for some odd reason I keep putting it off. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to finally meet our little guy, hold him, and kiss him. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the major changes that will occur on that day. From the changes to my body, to the changes to our life in general as now being a family of 3. There are definitely some major changes that are about to occur! I just have to keep up with my positive visualizations, and have faith in my hubby, my doula, and most importantly the Lord to get me through. Pray for me guys!

First Bradley Method Class

2010-01-05T08:58:00.003-05:00

This past Sunday we attended our first Bradley Method Birth Class. It was great! It was more of an introduction to what we'll be learning over the next six weeks, but it was very encouraging to be around other couples who are just as passionate about having a natural unmedicated birth.

We just went over how the plan of action is to labor as much as possible at home so that by the time we go to the hospital, I'll already be at least 6 cm dilated and ready for the finish line. When in labor, it's best to be moving in order to reduce pain, but also to help progress the labor process. That means walking, leaning on a birth ball, squatting, etc. I'll be able to do all of that at home comfortably. Many hospitals just strap you into bed as soon as you get there, which stalls dilation and effacement. Then when it takes forever for the birth process to happen, they start the C-section talk!! Ugh!

But anyway, our instructor is a hoot! She's so funny and interesting. She has three children, all birthed naturally, and all were born within like 3-4 hours! Nuts! That is unheard of! Most of the time you're looking at 12-18 hours or more... especially as a first time mom. It was crazy, the instructor pulled out a baby doll and a model pelvis and showed all of us how our little ones will be making their way out. Ouch! We'll also be watching videos of actual births, an episiotemy, and other informative things that we need to see.

All in all, it was a great first class and we're looking forward to learning a lot. It also made my hubby feel more at ease because the instructor said that by the end of the course, the husbands will be well informed and feel comfortable advocating for us at the hospital. So that made my hubby feel wonderful since he has been worried that he wouldn't know what to agree to or decline for me if I'm not able to make the decisions due to excessive pain. It also helps that we'll have our doula there to be a support.

I'm super excited! I'll update again next week after the next class! Also, just FYI, about.com gives a free online childbirth class. It's just basic information. It discusses:

•How to tell if you are in labor.
•What to pack for labor.
•Relaxation and breathing for labor.
•Common medications for labor including the epidural.
•Labor interventions like fetal monitoring.
•Cesarean Birth
•Postpartum
•Breastfeeding and more!

Click: Online Childbirth Class

His head is down already! (32 weeks)

2010-01-01T16:20:00.007-05:00

Happy New Year! The above pic is of the baby's direct face shot. Only half of the face is illuminated though.

I'm so glad it's 2010! Of course because our little one is coming soon. But also because 2009 wasn't the easiest year due to stress with finances, early pregnancy issues, etc. So now I'm looking forward to starting fresh! And praise God, I'm already 32 weeks pregnant (8 months), and for the most part feeling great!

I had another ultrasound a couple of days ago and the baby is doing wonderful. He's 4 lbs 1 oz. The ultrasound tech said that he's already head down and in a great position for birth. He was so adorable! He was sticking out his tongue and sucking on his fingers. lol

I'll be going to my OB every two weeks in January, then every week in February. I wonder if I'll make it to my due date (Feb. 26). I wouldn't mind a Valentine's baby though hehe.

I'm also looking forward to our baby shower that's at the end of the month. It's going to be so fun! I can't believe that the baby is coming next month. Pregnancy really goes so fast. Now it's getting down to the wire and we're trying tp prepare as much as we can. We went on the maternity ward tour last week and it kinda freaked me out to be honest. They showed us the delivery room, the bed, the stirrups and all that jazz... It made everything feel so real! I'm sure everything will go great. I have my husband who is a great support, also my doula, and we'll be able to play soft music, and use aromatherapy in the delivery room which will be helpful.

And this Sunday is our first Bradley Method birthing class. I can't wait! I really need to learn all of those relaxation techniques... pronto! :)

Time to Nest!

2009-12-24T14:30:00.005-05:00

It's Christmas Eve already! I can't believe how fast time is going, I'm 31 weeks now! I'm looking forward to having a low-key evening with my hubby drinking hot cocoa, listening to Christmas music, and spending quality time together. The greatest piece of advice I've gotten so far during this pregnancy is to cherish every quiet moment with my husband. Things will NEVER be the same again once our little guy comes! It's not to say that this is a bad thing, but it'll definitely be different. So tonight's goal is to: CHERISH THE QUIET. We'll try to stay up until midnight and exchange gifts but we tend to turn in by 9:30pm every night. I know, I know.. a bunch of nerds hehe. But he works two jobs (customer service and real estate) and I have been going to school, doing an internship, plus just having my tired pregnancy moments.

I'm happy to say that I am done with school and my internship this semester... woo hoo! I'm now free until the baby comes! Now it's time to do some serious NESTING! We only live in a one bedroom apartment and I would have loved to have a nursery for the baby, but it's too late in the game to let that get me down. We've already cleared out a lot of closet space, as well as drawer space. And my father-in-law already purchased the crib! So he and my hubby will be putting it together in about two weeks. Aww! Father son moment! :)

I've also been going wild with cleaning. I just can't stand to think of the baby crawling around, putting cat fur in his mouth.. yuk! So I'm doing as much as I can to keep the place neat. I'm trying not to overdue it though. Oh, in two weeks we start the Bradley Method birth class! I'm so excited! I can't wait to learn natural labor techniques! And in a couple of weeks I'm going to start packing my hospital bag! I already have the list prepared on my computer, can't wait to actually set it up. What else? ... Oh, the baby shower invitations should be going out next weekend.

The last update is that on Monday, I get another sonogram which is super exciting because I haven't had one since week 20. I can't wait to find out how much he weighs and how cute he looks now! He's definitely a strong little man with all the kicking and punching he's been doing... and at 4am to boot! ouch!

Anyway, that's all for now! I'll write again after the sonogram! xoxoxo

Getting excited, but still have som fears.

2009-12-07T12:27:00.015-05:00

I'm now 28 weeks and 3 days, woo hoo! Our little guy will arrive in less than 12 weeks! I can't wait to meet him. Thankfully in 3 weeks I get another sonogram so I'll be able to get another look at his cuteness. :) The hubby and I are thinking about doing the 3D ultrasound, but it'll probably be around 34 weeks so we can get a good picture of how developed he is.

So last week I took the Glucose Screening Test. Basically it's a test that most pregnant women are given now to check for the possibility of Gestational Diabetes. At the OB office you're given a super sweet drink and in an hour your blood is taken to measure whether the sugar is processed properly. Thankfully I passed the test with flying colors, but the sugary drink was gross! blechh! Especially since you have to drink it all down within 5 minutes of taking it!

Besides that, everything is going well. I met with our doula (natural birthing coach) a couple of weeks ago and we went over a lot of great information. She helped us tweek our birth plan and gave some advice on what to expect over the next couple of weeks, during labor, and also during delivery. I got a birth CD with soothing music which I'm listening to already to keep calm and relaxed. During labor I'll be listening to it as well, and the hospital room has a CD player in it so I'll be listening to it at the big moment too! I also purchased a birth ball which is cool. It's this big blue ball that I sit on daily to help with back pains and to start spreading out my pelvis to prepare for birth. You're also supposed to lean over it to start getting baby in a good position for delivery. Some babies are delivered in a "sunnyside up" position where they are facing the ceiling, and this makes delivery harder/more painful and causes tons of bruising on the little one's face! So by leaning over the birth ball, or anything you can (even a table), the baby's back gradually swings forward, which makes his face point in the proper position. Our doula has such a wealth of information. I'm so glad we hired her!

She also suggested using primrose oil to lubricate my "ho hum" starting six weeks prior to my due date to reduce the chance of tearing. I also have to take primrose oil capsules 2x/day for that reason as well. There are a lot of things that I'm trying to get together. I made a list of what to pack for the hospital stay. Creating the list was exciting, but nerve wracking too! It makes things so real! I must admit, I do get a little fearful of how the delivery will go. I'm nervous about the pain mostly. I am really looking forward to a natural birth so hopefully I can handle it.

Next month we're starting our birthing classes. We're taking 6 weeks of the "Bradley Method" course. I'm sure I'll feel more confident about labor and delivery after the class is complete. The Bradley Method is a a birthing method that teaches that we all can have positive, natural births by learning proper relaxation, natural breathing, propery nutrition, exercise, and getting educated about the process. It also focuses on the "husband-coaching" approach so that the husband plays an active and helpful role in the birth process. Studies show that 90% of Bradley Method moms who have vaginal deliveries are able to do so without pain medication. The C-section rate is much lower as well. The C-section rate is 10%, as opposed to the national average of 31%. Those are some great percentages! For more info, click on: Bradley Method

Well, that's all for now! I'll post again in a few weeks with new sonogram pics of our little jellybean!

Time is going by so fast!

2009-11-02T10:26:00.004-05:00

Time is going by so fast! I'm already 23 weeks pregnant! (Almost 6 months) The picture above was taken this weekend at a farm in Long Island. I took my husband to pick pumpkins and go through a corn maze for his birthday. It was very fun! And look at my baby bump! I can't believe how round I'm getting! My face is getting kinda plump too lol I'm not too happy about that part but it's all worth it in the end. Only three more months to go before we meet our little prince!

And he's been moving up a storm lately! He even has his own little schedule. He'll move early in the morning, a little around 3pm, then he goes buck wild after 9pm! I read that babies tend to keep the same schedule they have in utero once they are born. If that's the case, we're in for a lot of sleepless nights LOL I guess we should try to get enough ZZzz's as possible now while we can!

Here is an updated pic of the little cutie pie at 20 weeks:

We can't wait to meet you little guy!!

It's a BOY!!

2009-09-24T17:56:00.004-04:00

We found out today that our little gift from God is a healthy little boy! We didn't have any really good "money shots" of the male parts lol So I don't have any pics to show for that, but we did get a good one of the baby's little right hand, and part of his face! We're so excited! I was secretly hoping for a little boy too hehe. Whenever anyone asked, I would always give the politically correct answer "As long as it's healthy, that's all I want." And that is definitely true, but in the back of my head I always thought it would be cool to have a little mama's boy to tote around! My husband is excited also. He had a feeling it was a boy and has been on sports websites to find the perfect baby bibs and onesies with the Dallas Cowboys football team logo on them LOL He even plans on putting a Dallas Cowboys mobile above the crib! What the! We'll have to get two different mobiles, and switch off every so often to be fair.. Sheesh!

And in other news, I've been feeling the baby move and kick! I think at this stage it's called "quickening", but it feels like a spasm that happens in the lower abdomen. It's like if you had an eye twitch, but at random times in the lower belly. It's so cute though! It usually happens after I eat or drink something sweet hehe. This baby has a sweet tooth already!!

Anyway, I'm on cloud nine and am so happy that the Lord has blessed us with this little cutie! Sometimes we get worried about our financial situation and how we'll be able to afford everything, but God will provide. He has gotten us through so many things and will definitely be there for us and for this baby. Amen! :) :) :)

Ba-dump Ba-dump Ba-dump!

2009-09-04T21:11:00.006-04:00

I'm 15 weeks today! Time is flying all of a sudden! I had another doctor visit today with a NEW Obstetrician (Thank God!). I decided to change because my previous one was way to busy. She never returned my calls when I was concerned about anything. I always felt rushed in her office so I could never ask any questions. And sometimes I would have to wait almost 3 hours just to see her! My goodness! It was like a herd of pregnant women all cuddled up together in a waiting room desperately waiting for their name to be called. Not my scene!

So I was referred to this new OB by a friend and let me tell you, he's wonderful! I explained to him why I left my old OB and he told me how he was different in every way. I was able to sit in his office for a half hour and ask as many questions as my little heart desired! And I came prepared LOL He thought I was joking but I literally had 8 questions written in my cell phone to ask. And after leaving I even came up with a few more that I'll ask the next time around hehehe. Hey, I'm about to be a first time mom! I'm clueless!

Anyway, the whole experience was grand. The office had free parking, which was not the case with the previous office. Also, the waiting room only had like 2 other women in it and it was so comfy in there! Nice TVs, carpeting, the works!

The best part was, I was able to hear my little one's heartbeat (Ba-dump, Ba-dump, Ba-dump!) I wasn't able to hear it in the prior weeks since it was so early. But now as soon as he put the Doppler on my round belly, I heard it loud and clear! Yes, I had ultrasounds before this, but there's something special about hearing your baby's little heart beating so quick and strong. Amazing! The doctor even helped me distinguish what noises my little bean made when it was moving around (swoosh! swoosh!) It was like he/she was doing karate in there!

I can't wait until I really start feeling some movement in my tummy. Then it'll really feel "REAL". For now, I sometimes feel flutters after drinking ginger ale or eating something sweet. I think it's the baby but who knows - could be gas for all I know. I'm not quite sure what it is since this is my first baby and all. But from what read, it won't be too long til I feel definite kicks! It's supposed to be easy to feel around 18-22 weeks. Can't wait!

p.s. Since I'm nearing the 4 month mark, we're finally going to start telling more friends and family. In fact, I just posted my blog up on facebook LOL Let's see how long it takes some of my FB friends to catch on to our big surprise by reading this blog! Fun Fun Fun!

It's really a baby!! - 12 weeks

2009-08-14T19:32:00.008-04:00

Today we FINALLY got to have our ultrasound.. the one that we missed due to the ultrasound tech going on vacation (HMPH!). Well it was AMAZING! The last ultrasound we had was at 7 weeks and all we saw was a little blob with a heartbeat. Though we were amazed that there was a heartbeat already, it still didn't feel quite real yet... until TODAY!

Today we were totally in awe! Our baby ACTUALLY looked like a baby! As soon as the ultrasound tech put the sonogram wand on my belly, the baby started to move immediately! It was so active! The tech even said herself that the baby was making her job so easy and that it was one of the best she's done in awhile! The baby turned, rolled around, and even looked like it waved at us lol My husband and I both got teary looking at the baby because it was so cute and playful. It was beautiful!

In a little while, the baby settled down a bit for the tech to take the necessary measurements, which all came up normal PRAISE GOD! Then my husband started making me laugh because he swore up and down that the baby already has his nose LOL Needless to say I was cracking up and this riled the baby up all over again! The baby started kicking and moving around, and finally rested with it's cute little hand on its cheek! What a miracle!

As much as we were annoyed and frustrated that we couldn't see the baby earlier this week, we totally forgot about all of that once we saw the precious gift that the Lord has blessed us with. It was DEFINITELY worth the wait! And of course we had to celebrate by going out to Friendly's afterwards, hehe! Hey it's for the baby! The baby was hungry! ... or at least that's what I tell myself everyday! I'm so glad that I'm finally entering my 2nd trimester and feeling so much better! My appetite is better, and my energy is increasing each day! Dare I say it - I'm actually starting to enjoy pregnancy! GASP!! :) :) :)

Patience, my dear! Patience!

2009-08-11T08:36:00.000-04:00

Well yesterday I learned that patience is indeed a virtue. I had an 11 week ultrasound scheduled and my hubby and I woke up at the crack of dawn (ok well it felt like dawn but probably a little later) to get to the Doctor's office at 9 AM. We got there all bright eyed and bushy tailed to find out that our ultrasound tech was on vacation!! And the secretary swore up and down that they called our house and my cell phone to cancel. Hmm.. well needless to say there were no voicemails on my cell phone nor any on the answering machine.

We were so disappointed! I was especially disappointed since I haven't seen my little bean since week 7, and I'm such a worry wart! I had a serious countdown going since week 7 to be prepared for this ultrasound and it never happened. So we rescheduled for Friday and this time I'm going to be calling everyone and their mother to make sure that the tech will be there as scheduled! hmph!

Other than that, I've been doing pretty well. The morning sickness ebbs and flows. I had a great week 9, then week 10 the sickness began again, then along came some fierce heartburn, ugh! Now at week 11, the morning sickness seems to have subsided again, and the heartburn is less, but now I'm constantly in the bathroom for potty breaks! All throughout the night, 10 times a day, what the! Ah the wonderful world of pregnancy LOL But of course it's all worth it for the sake of a growing baby.

I'll have to blog again on Friday with the results! Can't wait!

Cravings, cravings, and more cravings

2009-07-31T12:31:00.001-04:00

Yay! I'm finally reaching the fun part of being pregnant - CRAVINGS. They just started last week (week 9) and though they aren't as outlandish as the TV shows that show pregnant women asking for ice cream with pickles on top, they're definitely out of the blue for me.

I've already harassed my husband into getting me a big mac meal. It was good going down, but oh the horror of heartburn after! ugh! On another occasion I just HAD to have a whopper Jr. that turned out to be GROSS and the heartburn soon followed. I went thru a day of desperately needing homemade guacamole. Then for two days I just HAD to have homemade spinach dip. And the crazy thing about the cravings is that if you ask me in a couple of days if I wanna try it again, it'll turn my stomach just thinking about it LOL Last night I was desperate to make a 7 layer Mexican bean dip. So I convinced my hubby to come with me to the market to get all of the ingredients. I also craved those fruit flavored Ices that are in the long plastic skinny bag (I haven't had those since I was 12!) I ate the bean dip and blechh!! all it did was give me some wicked gas! (My poor husband is not too happy with that pregnancy symptom by the way) And now, as I'm typing, I'm finally enjoying a blue raspberry flavored ice. How refreshing! :)

I'll tell you one thing though, my husband is loving these cravings just as much as I am. As you may have imagined, he is right beside me snacking on all sorts of things too. I keep telling him that he's going to gain 30 lbs of pregnancy weight with me! The only thing is, he's not going to be able to deliver half of that weight come February LOL I guess that's a lesson he'll just have to learn the hard way!

And the beat goes on...

2009-07-31T12:12:00.000-04:00

So here we are, a month later already! I am 10 weeks pregnant today. Time goes by so quickly! This month has really been a trip though. Here is the rundown:

Week 6:
Remember the spotting I had after the last ultrasound? Well my spotting got a lot worse and I was convinced that I had lost the baby. Needless to say, I was a total wreck. I ended up right back at the ER just to find out that the baby was fine and they could not tell where the bleeding was coming from. The baby's heart had even start beating already! How amazing! So I continued to deal with the unexplained spotting, but then the SEVERE morning sickness kicked in. I mean SEVERE... can't eat, can't drink, throwing up, etc. I had NO IDEA pregnancy was going to be like this! I lost 6 lbs this month! And for a curvaceous woman like me, you'd think I'd be excited LOL but that isn't the way you wanna lose a couple of pounds, Gee Wiz! I was able to get thru week 6 with tons of prayer, Gatorade, and chicken soup. Thank God!

Week 7:
The morning sickness was finally letting up but I still was nauseous most of the day. By the way, it really should be called "All Day Sickness" cuz that feeling hits you at the most inopportune times! The spotting finally stopped and I had another ultrasound by this amazing Christian ultrasound tech who located the bleed. I have a subchorionic hematoma. (I know, I know, a subchor wha wha?) Apparently sometimes during implantation, a little blood gets trapped under the uterine wall and creates a little blood clot. Mine was only 1 cm and the tech reassured me that it was no where near the baby and would go away on it's own. Again, praise God! By the way, we got to see our little bean again and it's heart beat was about 132bpm! So cute!

Week 8-9:
Still nauseous but again, it's getting better. I'm peeing like a racehorse which can get annoying, but still pretty funny hehe. I was also getting cramps that felt like Aunt Flo was coming which made me nervous but my DR said that was normal since my uterus is stretching. Somewhere around 9 weeks, my morning sickness/nausea stopped and I completely had a meltdown thinking that it was too early for it to stop. I always heard that it didn't stop until 12 weeks so again I was sure something was wrong. (I really need to stop being so negative - therapy much?!) But after much research and speaking to other pregnant women who also had the same concern, I found out that pregnancy symptoms can wane anywhere from 9 weeks - 12 weeks and sometimes they'll go away one week, then return another week, etc. So I decided not to flip out too much and just be calm and wait until I can see the baby again at another ultrasound. :)

So here we are, Week 10, and in one week we'll be able to see our little bundle o' joy again! And guess what! This time it'll actually look like a real baby! How cool is that! The other sonograms I got showed a little blob with a heartbeat. Very cute but still didn't feel completely real yet. I'm sure that it'll hit my husband and I big time when we actually see the shape of a head and little arms and legs! How amazing is this whole experience! This is definitely a blessing!

And so the stress begins - and hopefully ends...

2009-07-01T12:58:00.000-04:00

So Monday I was having some back pains, and pains in my left side. Apparently I convinced myself that I was having an ectopic pregnancy. I'm seriously a worry wart like that. Anyway, I decided to go to the ER just to check everything out. Bad idea!

I got there and they drew some blood to check my HcG levels (pregnancy hormones) and then immediately hooked me up to an IV... even though I tried to refuse the IV on a number of occasions. Here I am on a cot, in a backless hospital gown attached to an IV drip. To make matters worse, my nurse disappeared for two hours! So by the time the IV drip was finished, I had to pee like a racehorse! Which I later learned was the point of the IV so they could do a sonogram.

Anyway, so my nurse never came back to check on me so I kept asking passers by to get my nurse. Embarrassing! I'm sitting there, pulling back that curtain thingy, asking anyone I can see to call my nurse. And they each would come back and say "She said she's coming". Well my friends, she never came. I thought I was about to go into hysteria my bladder was so full and I managed to flag down another nurse who quickly had me sent to the ultrasound department. I probably could have gone a lot sooner if my nurse took the time to return, gee wiz!

Good News: I get the sonogram done and I got to see my little bean! No heartbeat yet, but he was in the right place and all looked well so far.

Bad News: They had to to a transvaginal (ouch) ultrasound since I'm so early in my pregnancy and that was uncomfortable! Never mind the fact that now I am having some pink/tan spotting which I was told is caused by the ultrasound irritating the cervix. Why do I put myself through these things?!?

Bad News that turned to Good News: So after the ultrasound, the ER doctor told me that all looked well except my HcG levels... which were a ridiculous 136,000! Last week at my doctor's office, they were around 2500. What the! So he told me that I had to see my own doctor in the next couple of days. Needless to say I was scared out of my wits. I told my husband and he started getting nervous. We looked up things on the Internet (which is always a bad idea) and saw that high HcG levels are related to down syndrome babies, or molar pregnancies (where the baby never forms and a growth of some sort forms instead b/c of chromosome issues) So that evening I couldn't eat or sleep, seriously worried about that stupid number. I didn't understand how everything could look good on the ultrasound but my numbers could be so off. I decided (after much coaxing from my husband and my message board friends) to call the hospital and ask that they pull my chart again to verify. Guess what? My HcG was NOT 136,000 but 13,600! And that is totally normal! Apparently the Dr. seemed to have seen an extra zero some how.

You know, I should have known something was wrong with the ER Dr. because he had this eye twitch. And I'm not trying to discriminate against eye twitchers but it was so bad that he had to literally put my chart up to his nose to read the results. So no wonder he read it wrong! He probably was seeing double or something! Gosh!

At this point I won't be going out of my way to check anything out because it just stresses me out more! And now I have this annoying spotting thing going on that I didn't have before the ultrasound. It's been two days and it's still there. I'm hoping everything is okay but I was warned by my personal Dr. and the ultrasound technician that this would happen and it was nothing to be alarmed about.

So all's well that end's well! I even got to take home a little ultrasound pic of my little bean! My husband was so excited!

First Doctor Visit - What a Rush!

2009-06-24T14:24:00.000-04:00

Today was my first prenatal doctor visit and I was sooo excited... and nervous! I woke up with some morning sickness which was not cool. But on top of that I had butterflies in my stomach like I was going on a first date or something! That did not go well with the morning sickness... ugh.

Needless to say, I got to the office at like 10:15am, and waited an hour before they even called me in. You'd think they'd have some sort of express line for pregnant women who need to pee like a race horse! On top of that, I had to hold my tinkle because they wanted me to pee in a cup. Gee wiz! So after an hour, I finally was allowed to pee and I nearly bum-rushed the nurse to get the mini cup to relieve myself. On a side note, what's up with those mini cups anyway? Apparently I'm supposed to squat (since I don't EVER sit on public toilets) balance myself with one hand, and hold the mini cup in the other all the while praying that I don't miss the target... What the!

So they did the urine test and immediately it came up positive. I got tons of congratulations from the nurses which was pretty cool, then I had to answer tons of questions about me and my husband's medical history. After we got through all the boring stuff, I was able to go in to see the doctor and get a vaginal exam (ouch!) She said that I'm actually farther along than I thought. I'm 5 weeks and 6 days! She scheduled me for my first ultrasound in three weeks. They also took blood to check my pregnancy hormone levels, but the doctor said that she won't be calling me if everything is normal. Well thanks a lot Doc! Now every time a telemarketer calls the house I'm going to start crying and beating my chest!

Anyway, after my visit I called my husband and told him everything. He's so excited! He kept saying "Now it's real! Now it's real!" hehe I'm just glad that so far everything seems to be going well.

But wait! Then there was drama with my insurance company. So I got a prescription for prenatal vitamins which should be the simplest prescription on the earth to get filled, but of course my insurance company doesn't cover them. !?!! I looked like a dork at the local CVS trying to figure out why my prenatal vitamins for 30 days were $65! So I called my insurance company, called my doctor, and all but called President Barack Obama to get this handled! After about an hour, my insurance company gave me a special top secret private authorization number that my doctor could call to get my prenatal vitamins approved. Gimmie a break! Anyway, at the end of the day, all is well and I can pick up my prenatal vitamins tomorrow for $10. Amen! ;)

So thus begins my adventure in the land of pregnancy, pharmaceuticals, and health care. I'm sure I'll have tons of crazy wacky and amazing stories to share, and I'm looking forward to every minute of it! xoxoxoxo!

Baby Dust!

My BFP! and other acronyms...

2009-06-23T07:29:00.002-04:00

Wow, life as we know it is about to change for the rest of our lives. Why? Because I got my BFP! What is that you ask? Well anyone trying to conceive (or TTC) knows all about these acronyms that are used to make blogging and posting on baby message boards easier. These acronyms go on and on and though they may seem weird at first, most of us women end up making it our second language! After a couple of weeks of being on some of those message boards, I was actually speaking to my dear husband (or DH) with this lingo. So much for pig latin.

So what's my story? Well my DH and I have been TTC for about 5 months now. We haven't really been obsessed about it, it was more that we weren't trying to avoid it (or TTA). This month I thought was like any other month and didn't expect to see anything different when I took a Home Pregnancy Test (or HPT) last week. I did notice that I was extremely moody... or should I say my DH noticed that I was moody (hehe) so I decided to take an HPT just to be sure. Monday, June 15th, I went to the story and purchased a box of HPTs which incidentally only has 3 in a pack but cost like a trillion dollars. What gives?! TTC can get more expensive than a drug habit now-a-days... and I guess that snot nosed teenager at the cash register becomes your pusher?!

Anyway, I bought a box and even though Aunt Flo (or AF) wasn't due for another 6 days, I decided to take my chances and test anyway... yes I do have some sort of addiction to Peeing on a Stick or (POAS). As a matter of fact, some of my TTC friends on the message boards all decided that it would be really fun to have a POAS party! That's when we all take an HPT at the same time and run to the computer with our undies practically still around our ankles to give each other the update on what we saw - one line or two. So we were scheduled for a POAS party on Monday. Guess what? I got a Big Fat Negative (or BFN). Just one little lonely line on the HPT and I nearly tossed it out of the window, I was so annoyed. So I went to the message board to give my news. We all were in the same boat but I knew that I was still too early to get an accurate reading. We ended our chats with scheduling another POAS party for Wednesday.

So the next day, Tuesday, I went through my day okay. I was having some cramps that felt like AF was coming so that was a bit discouraging. Though later on I read that Pregnancy (PG) cramps feel very similar to AF cramps, just lighter. In any event, I decided to test anyway around 5pm in the middle of cooking dinner. I really didn't expect to see anything but I just had to get it out of my system. That's the trouble with having HPTs in the house because all you wanna do is pee on them! So I went into the bathroom, took the HPT, and walked away for 3 minutes. I wasn't really ready for what i saw when I came back. TWO LINES! I got my Big Fat Positive (or BFP)! I was in total shock!

Meanwhile over the past couple days I was mulling over in my head how I would tell my DH that we were pregnant, trying to find some cute and creative way to do it. Well life doesn't always happen exactly how you plan it LOL I was in such shock when I saw the two lines, and as I'm pacing the floor trying to look at the HPT in different light in case I was hallucinating, in walks DH from work! He sees me pacing and asks me what I'm doing and I all but threw the HPT into his face! "Is there a second line!? Is there a second line!?!" I shouted. He looked at it and I could tell he saw the second line but since it was not very dark, he played down the whole thing. I guess it was to not get our hopes up if it was a fluke.

I must say I wasn't very happy with his reaction but I understood how he felt. If this was a trick of our NYC apartment lighting, why get all excited and jump around only to find out later that we were wrong. So we decided that I would test tomorrow with my first morning urine (or FMU) since the test says that it contains the strongest pregnancy hormone at that time. Well the next morning I woke up at like 6am, a ball of nerves, and took another HPT. Bingo! Two dark lines! I woke my DH up and shoved the test practically under his nose. "See?! See!!" He smiled and hugged me and the rest, they say, is history I guess. I ended up telling my message board friends a day later and though most of them got BFNs, one girl got a BFP just like I did and we are actually due the same day! So I have a baby buddy! ... (no acronym for that sorry)

So here I am, 4 weeks and 4 days PG and I'm happy, nervous, and scared all in one. I've been getting some slight PG symptoms but so far so good and I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm praying big time that everything in the tests show up normal. I'm crossing my fingers and my toes... and I'm trying to send a message for baby to do the same... oh wait he doesn't have fingers or toes yet oops!

Time to sign off! I'll write more after my appointment. And baby dust to you all! ... ya you're probably looking at the screen like "baby wha?!" Baby dust is just something said on the message boards as a goodbye, but also wishing the other person I guess to get sprinkled by the baby dust fairy to get PG soon? It's quite funny thinking of a fat baby running around sprinkling stuff on women's heads (or bellies) but it's a cute phrase and women TTC love it! So baby dust, baby dust, baby dust! :) :) :) xoxoxo